Sunday, July 24, 2011

Access rights; they're not just for people anymore!

Hello people! This is Bristol and I've decided that it is well time I put my paw to paper and write on this blog.
I know that the "Big Bitch" comes in here to write about access and stuff, so in order not to disrupt her flow; I'll stick to this topic.

Did you know that dogs have access challenges too? Not just the kind where you are in the harness and working and some no brained idiot doesn't want to let me into their store, either! You see, dear reader, I am getting older. Like fine wine, I improve with age, but some parts of me just don't work as well as they could. This means that sometimes I have trouble going down steps or on to high places.

So my Uncle Kelly, who is very smart and handy, built me a set of steps to help me get up on the human bed. I like the human bed for snuggle time but the new bed is just too tall for me to jump onto, so Uncle Kelly made me steps. I love them very much, but there is just one problem.

Certain Dobermans and dogs of an orange hue keep laying on the part of the bed next to the steps! Because these dogs refuse to move, I cannot use the steps to get on to the bed! Sometimes The Big Bitch and Bigpops will lift me on to the bed, using the "elevator," but this is not what I want. I need to wait for the people to leave what they are doing to "elevate" me. Whereas, if I use the steps, I can get on and off the bed when ever I want. Laveau and Mill'E-Max are therefore, blocking my access to a place of public accommodation! Well not really public, but it's as close as I can come!

I think us old dogs need to form a PAC; draft a law laying out our access rights! Like, other dogs cannot block the steps on to the bed! We may be able to tack some "Pork Barrel" into this legislation which dictates an increase in our food amounts. I don't know about y'all, but I could use a barrel of pork!

Any other Senior Citizens want to join me?

1 comment:

  1. LOL. You tell 'em.
    You being the senior of the group, you have more access wrights than they do-they just might be slow at figuring that out.
    PS: Can you please tell your "big Bitch" that I would love to chat with her some time about the wonderful stuff she feeds you guys.