State of the Pack

Mother Nature has a major case of confusion. It has been in the high 70's this whole week. I'm actually running the air-conditioning because it is so hot and muggy outside. Don't get me wrong; I'd much rather have high 70's than 40's! Hey, I'm a weather wimp! That's why I don't live in the frozen north with the rest of my family! While I'm enjoying this weather, it makes it hard to remember that we're only in January. It doesn't feel like Carnival time at all!

This good weather has given me lots of opportunity to get out with the dogs though which is nice. Bristol has seen both the regular vet, as well as the eye specialist and the old lady appears to be pretty darned fit for her age. This makes us all very happy as we would all be quite lost without our Queen Bristol and we hope she will be around for many years yet.

I am teaching myself to make incense. This required a trip to the herb store where my SSP got an education on everything from Rooibos to Tansy. It was fun, and I some how ended up buying a beautiful marble mortar and pestle (because I needed a bigger one-- promise)! So I am still in the mixing of the herbs stage. I couldn't find Makko powder at the shop so am going with charcoal and honey for combustion/binding. I am also trying Rooibos (red tea) in some of my blends and am liking it very much.

Baylee is growing and is starting to wear a small harness. She is having some body sensitivity issues and I'm getting her used to the feel of a handle on her back, being picked up and set down, as well as starting some positioning work. My friend took a bunch of pictures and tomorrow's chore involves uploading them to Flickr. I'll post the link when I have it. If I were more techy-ish, I could put them in the post itself but I still don't understand how to do that. Someone should really write a book-- blogger for idiots.

And speaking of books, I do believe that it is time to give the old lady her 2nd round of eye drops for the day and crawl into bed with my book. It is the first Harry Potter book-- obeying the maxim, that "When the going gets tough-- the tough read HP!"

Obstacle Avoidance

Today I took Baylee for a walk. She has been doing some very light obstacle avoidance work, plus she will reliably stop for changes in elevation. She is in no way a trained guide dog, but we have been encouraging these behaviors since we got her, and in the last two weeks her focus and overall understanding of these behaviors has improved drastically.

Mister Pawpower needed to go to the post-office, and he "borrowed" Laveau since she is the master of navigating the lines in that building. While they were gone, I decided to take our striped one for a walk.

Everything was going just swimmingly. We had gone about 7 blocks in all, and were nearing the end of our walk when we encountered an obstacle..

No, it wasn't a trash can, or a parked car. This obstacle was a person... with a dog, on a leash. However, for some people, a leash just seems to be a pretty bit of fabric to clutch while their dog does whatever it pleases. This was the case with the woman we met.

I felt Baylee stop, and I reached down to find her sniffing the dog. I asked her to stop, and she did. I told her to continue walking, and she tried but failed as she was suddenly set upon by this dog who was thankfully not much bigger than she was. The dog thought it was great fun to jump up and pin Baylee to the ground, wagging its tail and licking her face. Poor Baylee just lay there-- still ignoring the other dog, and trying to get up but having no luck. I informed the woman that we needed to be on our way (which is a polite request to remove her dog from atop mine), however the woman was cooing and laughing and getting a real kick out of her dog's antics. Finally I told Baylee she could greet the other dog because I had no other choice.

Eventually I got the other dog off of her, got Baylee on her feet, and left on our way home. Thankfully the dog, although very poorly trained, was very friendly and its only intent was play. This could have ended up so much worse if the dog had been reactive. Baylee doesn't seem any the worse for wear, but I think my nerves are shot.

Life is like mystery soup....

You never never know what you'll get. And yes, it's supposed to be chocolates, but I am making mystery soup today so soup it shall be.

I needed to clean out my fridge and veggie shelf, so today was soup-making-day. I also had some old stock I had frozen from a pork roast we had made a month or so back. I defrosted it (not an easy job when the kitchen is unheated and it's 35 degrees outside) and skimmed off the fat(ewww!) and tossed the stock in the crock pot with 5 chopped red potatoes, an onion, some leftover frozen corn and green beans, half a bottle of salsa that needed to be used, 4 or 5 cloves of garlic(just in case of vampire invasion) and a can of Skyline Chili base (I thought it was black beans, but got a surprise when I opened it so used that instead). I will make biscuits later or maybe some egg-rolls and that shall be our dinner, and if I'm lucky, lunches for me next week.

This morning we went for coffee. Our vet said that Baylee would tell us when she was ready to start going with us again, after being spayed on Wednesday. This morning she was for sure ready. Mister Pawpower and I dressed Laveau and Baylee and went for coffee and to the mini mart. Baylee was very glad to be out and not stuck at home. She has been a very good girl, not bothering her stitches. She doesn't even need the cone of shame (lamp shade collar) which is awesome.

Bristol's labs came back and they are all normal. She was examined by our vet who said that her hips are actually improving a bit which is amazing! Go team Bristol.

The weather has been so cold. Well ok, all y'all yankees are looking down your noses but it is! Also our homes don't have central heat so... brrr! My hands get so cold and I am very grateful for my new gloves with the fingertips missing so I can still read braille without freezing my hands off.

Tomorrow I am dragging my SSP to a local herb shop. I went to their website and they even have classes which sound interesting. I'm going to check out their prices and to see if they have Makko powder because I'd like to try my hand at making incense.

Yesterday I realized that this is a three-day weekend because of Martin Luther King Jr. day. I think I will celebrate by making another pot of the solstice soup I made last month. I may also make a pan of jalapeno corn bread, and perhaps some chocolate cupcakes.

I think that is all of my randomness for now.
Mill'E-Max is telling me that her water dish is empty. If I don't fill it soon she may exact vengeance. And don't let that golden retriever face fool you-- they are masters of revenge!!
Stay warm, y'all!

Random brain dump

Part of my job requires that I do presentations on various topics to groups of people (mostly school children). Today I attended an "Abilities Awareness Day" held at a middle school. My interpreter arrived just shortly after I did. We have known one another for a couple of years now, but rarely get to work together. We spent a while just chatting and catching up which was nice.

Then the presentation started. As did the questions. One young gentleman asked me if I was married. A young lady asked me why I needed a dog if I had an interpreter. I think I'll pass on the guide human, thanks. One young man called Laveau a "statue" because she was holding so still. He was wondering if she ever moved at all. I kind of laughed at that because when she's not working, she never stops moving.

At one point I was demonstrating how I use my iPhone and Braille display for texting and the like. I had the display on my lap, and a teacher held my iPhone. I read the information on my display with my right hand while the left hand sat atop the interpreter's right hand so I could answer people's questions. Yes, it is possible to receive tactile ASL and read braille simultaneously. It kind of breaks my brain though. The ride to the school was one hour each way, so it was a very busy day, and very tiring.

Baylee is getting spayed tomorrow. I am nervous. Bristol is also going in for labs, and this also makes me nervous.
Also I think I'm losing more hearing. I know, who'd have thunk I'd have any more to lose at this point but there you go. I'm going to have to make an appointment with my audiologist soon to see if she can turn up my hearing aid again. Honestly I am putting this off because hearing aid adjustments are one of the auditory things that triggers an increase in vertigo symptoms. I really hate those. I don't care about being deaf but I hate being dizzy and sick. I didn't really even realize how much I've been struggling lately until I used an interpreter today and didn't have to struggle at all.
I always have to struggle to hear, it's just a fact. That makes it hard to notice an increase in the need to work when one is already working hard. But today really brought it home to me how stressful listening has become.

bla, bla, bla!
My brain is so fried right now I'm not making sense. gonna plug in all of my gizmos and go to sleep. We leave for the vets at 8:45 tomorrow with Baylee and Brissy. Good juju/happy thoughts/prayers to the deity/s of your choice are appreciated.

The Obstacles of Grace

This post is for the sixth
<"Assistance Dog Blog Carnival">
The topic is obstacles.

When an assistance dog organization trains their specially-bred dogs to become working partners, it's only the top half, or less who make it. So many obstacles stand in the way of a young puppy. Will it have the correct temperament? Will it be physically sound? Will it like the work? So many things to overcome.

If a specially-bred dog has such a small chance of making it, then how much less so, a mutt who found herself in one of America's dumping grounds for pets, left to be someone else's problem. Her black color became yet another obstacle; because nobody wants the black ones; they will always have a higher chance of being euthanized.

Her name was Jewel. She had a filthy coat and eyes that seemed to know too much. Her first family didn't want her, none of the people who walked by her cage at the shelter day in and day out wanted her, and her time was running out. I was volunteering at this shelter at the time, and was also looking for another dog to train, maybe as a guide dog, just for fun, to see if I could train the tasks, but mostly just to have as a friend for Bristol, my old working dog. but we didn't want Jewel, either. I knew what I wanted and that wasn't her.

But sometimes we don't get what we want, and through a string of small yet life-changing events, I found myself up to my neck in suds and black fur. Jewel became my dog on a long-ago Saturday morning, as I washed her encrusted hot spots, trimmed her matted fur, and otherwise tried to fix what had been broken. At some point during that endless-seeming afternoon, Jewel the unwanted and castoff farm dog had taken her first tentative steps to becoming Gracy the guide dog. But just like windshields have bugs-- roads have obstacles.

She came to live with me, and it soon became apparent that her socialization was minimal, at very best. We did it all-- steps, cars, out door strip malls. She loved being out in the world. I loved having her, and what was even better, she was helping my current working dog to change for the better.

Her only problem was me. I had been taught just how to "train a dog." There was the one way I knew, and I used my method of choice in a manner I thought was pretty even-handed, and "normal." If leash corrections made her shut down, well that wasn't my fault, was it? I couldn't let the dog "be the alpha," could I? She has to learn to be tough. When I finally saw the metaphorical light, the popping sound which signified the removal of my cranium from my rectum was so loud, it may have contributed to my deafness.

Eventually I became an operant trainer and we both got a lot happier. I wasn't perfect, but I was a lot more willing to try different things, and a lot less quick with physical correction. She blossomed. We finally had a working relationship.

Things sailed along pretty smoothly for a while, but I should have known it was the calm before the storm. The storm even had a name-- it was Katrina. She rolled into town on August 29th of 2005, and left failing levees, and almost total destruction behind her. Gracy learned to work in a city other than New Orleans. We came back home in March of 2006, to a city laden with obstacles. All of the hours of training, all of the tears and hard work, and second guessing the both of us paid off.

Walking down the street was like visiting a third-world country. Homes lay neglected, with debris scattered everywhere. There were FEMA trailers on the sidewalk, rusted cars on lawns, refrigerators with their seven-months old contents lay in the pedestrian walkway. Nails in the road, and potholes which you could literally use for swimming holes. She guided me around them all. She knew what to do and she did it.

I remember on one of my first trips back to the city , when all I could do was walk-- zombie like-- through the blocks and blocks of destruction. Walk passed numbers on doors which told of the body count inside. walk passed people coming home for the first time, who stood weeping in yards. I just walked, knowing that if I were to stop-- even for a moment-- that I would be completely unable to move forward, or to even move at all ever again. There was nothing else to do-- so she lead me through this new landscape of death and broken lives. Without a flinch, or a twitch of an eyelash she guided me around the obstacles until I was safely home again.

Now she is retired. She is a gray-muzzled lady of leisure. She spends her days keeping the gardens free of mice, and the yard clear of intruders. I have another dog in the harness. I would like to think that I'm a better trainer, though. I'd like to think that somewhere along this unexpected journey which I've taken-- guided by grace-- that I've changed and that my current and future dogs will have benefited from the obstacles Gracy and I have overcome together.

Happy New Year!

I would love to wish everyone a wonderful, healthy, and safe new year. May it be full of many good things. The holidays were quiet for us here, which has been really nice. It seems that I spent 2011 dashing from crisis to crisis which was exceedingly exhausting. I was not at all sad to see 2011 go into the history books.

Last night Mister Pawpower and I sat out on our porch sipping drinks. I can sometimes see the fireworks but this year none were close enough. However I did manage to hear a few with my hearing aid in. My husband said the entire city sounded like a giant bowl of Rice Krispies with all of the fireworks.
The weather has been beautiful around here. Temps in the 70's and sunshine. Today we celebrated the new year with a barbecue. Mister Pawpower did t-bone steaks, brats, and smoked sausages on top, and a pan of roasted veggies in the bottom of the grill. We ate the steaks tonight, but the sausages and brats are sandwich material for the next few days. I made lemon raspberry cupcakes and lemon pudding icing to go on top. It turned out super well. I just made the recipe up as I shopped in the grocery store, so score one for me!

Baylee is getting spayed on Wednesday. She is 8 months old now, and for several reasons, we do not want to deal with her going into heat, and so after a lot of careful thinking, research, and conversing with our vet who is really a wonderful guy, we decided to spay her around this time. I am super nervous. I will probably always see her as this little wriggling striped bundle with tiny paws and a bitsy round puppy head. I think leaving her at the vets will be very hard for me. I know this needs to be done, and I've dealt with enough post-spay bitches in my time, but this time it's different, because I still think of her as the baby. Bristol is also going in for blood work because I want to make sure that her thyroid is behaving. She is showing a return of the clinical signs of hypothyroidism, and I'd like to have a look at her numbers. Of course I'm having a big inner battle with myself because I'm just sure she has horrible cancer of some variety, or other. I am trying not to stress out about it. I don't think I'm doing very well and I just want her to go in, get blood taken and for my vet to tell me that she is ok. Needing a thyroid med adjustment counts as OK because that isn't surprising seeing as how she is 14, and everything.
I started reading the new Stephen King book today. It is called 11/22/63 and it is amazing. That man can write! I think this will go on 2012's best reads list, for sure!
Tomorrow, I think we're taking Baylee out with us when we run errands. She won't be going anywhere for the first couple weeks after her spay, so it's good to get her out now.

I am currently making a huge batch of tea, aroma therapy sprays and tub muffins. I do believe that January 2, 2012 will be spent in the herb room, which is perfectly OK with me.

Happy New Year, y'all!

Booklist for 2011

I read a total of 164 books this year. Mostly fantasy and fluffy Stephanie Plum mysteries. I read a lot of books about Deafblind people/culture. I really got into the Song of Ice and Fire series even though I found "game of thrones" kind of intimidating and confusing; I'm glad I came back to it.

The Chris Rose was by far, the very best book I read all year long and the very hardest. It was like ripping off all of the old scabs and I literally cried through 95% of the book. I don't think I can or will ever read it again. However because it was such a powerful read for me, I wanted to mention it. I think others will find it interesting but hopefully not as soul-shredding to read.
I do have one silly Urban Fantasy book on my list; the Molly Harper werewolf books. They are really excellent. Once again, Christopher Moore has two books on the list, because I read two of his books and they always make the list because he is wonderful.

My friend Doug, who took his own life in March was the first introduce me to them and I can't read them any more without my heart breaking a little. But I guess that's how life works. So here is my top fifteen best books for 2011. Note that a * means that the books are part of a larger series but I have read all of the series mentioned in this list.
Top 15 books for 2011
1. One Dead in Attic After Katrina by Chris Rose
2. Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult
3. Of Such Small Differences by Joanne Greenberg
4. Walking Free: The Nellie Zimmerman Story by Rosezelle Boggs-Qualls and Darryl C. Greene
5. Coyote Blue by Christopher Moore
6. The Story of Beautiful Girl By Rachel Simon
7. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins *
8. The Confession by John Grisham
9. The Witches of Eileanan by Kate Forsyth *
10. Naamah's Blessing by Jacqueline Carey *
11. A Clash of Kings by George R. R. Martin *
12. Prime by Poppy Z. Brite *
13. Independent Living Without Sight and Hearing by Richard Kinney
14. How to Flirt with a Naked Werewolf by Molly Harper *
15. Practical Demonkeeping by Christopher Moore

A Hero's Quest

Like the fearless explorers from years gone by, tomorrow I shall embark upon a great and noble quest; traveling to hostile and untamed lands in pursuit of a dream.

In layman's terms, this means that I'm going to the Apple Store, located in the m*ll to upgrade my iPhone. However, my initial description isn't far from the mark because doing this by myself (OK, with Laveau) will be epic, I can see it now.
I will have the following:
• Macbook so Apple Store employee can make sure the backup/restore from iTunes goes smoothly.
• USB braille display so I can read Macbook. My Macbook is still running Leopard which doesn't support bluetooth displays. I really need to fix this; it just hasn't happened yet.
• Easybraille braille display, which is connected to iPhone
• Braille Note with QWERTY keyboard and braille display so I can communicate with Apple Store staff.
• Old iPhone

This could get... well kind of tricky. I know I can read two displays at once; I do it all the time when working with both phone and Macbook. But add the 3rd one, the one for communication and it's going to be crazy; and yet again I will long to be transformed into an octopus so I can read more than two things at once. Also that ink thing would be cool, too. Also if I get lost in the mall, I'll need the Braille Note for communication so I can get directions. If I'm not out by Christmas; someone send a search party!
I'm very excited to get this new update to my much-beloved iPhone. Now hopefully Voiceover and my braille display will run much more smoothly than on my 3gs. Also Siri! I have about five million questions to ask her. like "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

take my hand, or maybe not!

Friday was my birthday, and since I've been under a bit of stress lately, I decided to party it up and have some fun. We started out at a rotisserie place called Zea. I had some pesto-crusted trout and two Mojitos, which are my new favorite drink. After that, some friends and I went to a party at a lawyer's house. I don't know this person but my friend goes to law school and was invited.

So we get there, and I have some rum and coke. I was chatting with a lady I know who works at the Advocacy Center, and then turned around to chat with my friend. I put my hand atop hers and tapped it, which means that I wanted her attention. She just laid her hand there and didn't give me any response, so I thought she must be talking to a hearing person. So I just laid my hand atop hers and sat there and waited. ... and waited, and waited, and waited. Then I tapped her hand again this time she wiggled it back and forth, in that universal gesture hearing people do when they want to talk to me but don't know how. I didn't know what she was doing. Suddenly, my friend tapped me on the shoulder and said that she had quick left and gotten another drink but didn't tell me because I was talking to someone else. So Another person had taken my friend's place-- one that didn't know us. Lol! I had been touching a stranger. Her hands were the same type and shape as my friends, and I didn't notice! Talk about embarrassing! Gotta love those Deafblind moments!

Golden

Today Bristol turns 14 years old. Because this is also December 14th, it makes it her golden birthday. So I guess we could say that it's the Golden's Golden Birthday. She celebrated it by going to the park and chewing on a cow foot, and taking a nap on my shoes. She got a tug rope for her gift and I am assuming we'll break it in shortly. The old lady does love tug of war.

I don't really have anything to say about her that I haven't said before about a million times. Our relationship is so hard to quantify, and explain to people; especially people who don't have an assistance dog. Even though she's retired, she is still the center of everything I do. From my first half-awake fumble for her Thyroid medication in the morning, even before my feet hit the floor, until I do her eye drops and give her one last snuggle before falling asleep at night. She is always in the back of my mind, and even more now, that she is older.

When I first met her, I didn't want anything to do with her. My first guide dog had just died at age 3 from lymphoma. I wasn't ready to open my heart so fully to anyone. She didn't give me a choice about it. She was like a giant rock; waring down my hurt feelings and anger, and planting the seeds of great love in their place. She continued to be a rock, all through our working relationship, no matter what I threw at her. She handled everything with calm joy, and that sure-fire confidence that she could do anything that was asked of her. When I moved to New Orleans in 2003, I knew nobody. I had never been to the city before, so we spent days traveling the streets, getting lost, and then unlost together. No matter what happened, where I went, or what I had, or how I felt, she was always there. And that's the way it's always been.
I must confess, that a part of me wonders if this will be her last birthday. She can't live forever, I know this, but the wish is there just the same. The only thing I can do is to make sure that today, and the rest of her todays are all golden.

Silent Night, Holy Night.

So this is my first Christmas without Christmas music. Ok, I should actually qualify that because I can still hear *some* music with my iPod and a device that hooks it up to my bluetooth hearing aid. But the funny thing about Christmas music-- at least for me-- was that its all-pervasiveness during the season is what really made it feel like the holiday.
I mean, how many people complain about that music in the grocery store, or the bathroom in the gas station, on the radio and in line at the post office. For a month, everywhere we go we are accompanied by St. Nick, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, and Frosty the Snow Man. Not to mention the Hippopotamus someone wants under their tree. It's a very quiet Christmas for me, and I really have to learn to appreciate the holidays in a new way.

I can smell evergreens when we walk toward the store. That smell immediately brings me back to my childhood, gathered around the tree with my sisters telling stories of each ornament we hung.

I love the smell of baking cookies, and cinnamon. The funny moving stuffed animal decorations, and the feeling of ribbon, garland and the hard cold metal ball of a bell in my hand.

When people express amazement that I have a real tree in my house, I smile. The tree is one of the few parts of the season which I can experience. I love the prickly branches, the scent of pine, and the tasks of every-day maintenance. And always there are the ornaments.

When I was a kid, my mother started giving me ornaments for the tree every year. When I moved out, I took the ornaments and hung them on many of my own trees. In August of 2005 they were lost, like so many things were, in the destruction brought on by hurricane Katrina and the failure of the federal levees.

Mister Pawpower and I had gone to Memphis and we had no ornaments. We decided to make our own and so we took a trip to a craft store for pipe cleaners, bulbs, buttons, and puff-paint.

We sat around our little table and created another chapter of our history. That was also the last Christmas I was able to hear any holiday music without amplification.

When we moved back here, we started collecting more ornaments. We still use the ones we made, because they remind me to persevere during the trying times. We have dog-statue ornaments, and many home-made ones from wonderful artist friends. We have funny ones shaped like Bigger (because he's a lot like Mill'E-Max), We have ones with big hearts (for Bristol), We have ones for Rudy, Gracy, and all the other dogs we have had in our lives. This year I believe we will have a striped ornament for our very special striped dog. As we decorate the tree, we tell the stories of how this particular bit of history came to us. So that by the time the tree is decorated, it is a story in its own right.

I have really been making an effort to find new ways to appreciate this time of year. However I can't seem to get away from the music! This morning, I was in Walmart with my SSP. I was surprised I could hear some kind of high pitched noise. I didn't know what it was and more and more, it sounded like someone moaning in pain, or a wounded farm animal. I asked my SSP if she could hear that moaning noise and she replied that that was not moaning, but that song "Angels We Have Heard on High." They were on the "glooooooooooooria" part, I guess. Only it didn't sound very glorious to me. We instead had a good laugh about barn yard animals singing Christmas music, because it really did sound like that! I've ruined Christmas music for her forever now!

Tomboy Goes To Beauty School

So my friend texts me at work this morning and tells me that her friend, who works at a well known Beauty school here in New Orleans has invited us for facials and all of that stuff. I was kind of nonplused about this because I am a huge tomboy. For me, a clean pair of jeans and a shirt without Turmeric stains on it is good enough for anything I'm likely to encounter in my life. I do have long hair but I either wear it long or pull it back. I don't own any of that girl paint, or anything, and I've never had a facial in my life. Naturally I thought I should have the experience so I could know what all of the fuss was about.

We arrived and I had my nails done. I picked out dark purple polish and Kayla got right to work on my nails. Holding still for that was so, so hard. My hands are the world to me, and I know it probably seems obvious that it's this way for a deafblind person, I never really realized how disconnected with the world I become when I can not use my hands at will. I can't text or read, or talk, or listen, or reach down to pet my dog. It was very strange. I guess it helped me be mindful in the moment of having them done because I couldn't do anything else but relax and kind of space off into my own world.

Next was the facial. Only it was more like neck/shoulders/face. Complete with the wearing of these robe things which was awkward, and kind of cold. I laid in a bed and a lady did things to my face. And if I thought I was disconnected from the world when my nails were being done, it was nothing compared to how I felt up in a high bed, without even my feet touching. It was so bizarre.

First, the lady doing my face asked me a bunch of questions. It is during times like these when I wished to please have the multiple choice version of the test life throws you
It went something like this.
Face lady: "How does your skin feel today?"
Me: "well, I mean... it feels like skin, and I can't really say that my skin feels different from day-to-day; it's just... skin, and stuff."
F L: "Well is it dry? oily? a combination of both?"
Me: "uhh? I mean... It is just how it is. I don't have any idea."
F L: "What products do you use to clean your face?"
Me: *thinks to self that dog spit is not the answer they're looking for. *
"Well, water? soap?... yeah, soap and water 'bout covers it."

So after the questioning was over, the greasing and massage and stuff began.
I had this stuff sprayed on my face, and then removed. Rinse, repeat. At one point she wanted to do the same thing to my feet, but I put my foot down. Ok, ok, that was a bad line but I really did. No feet facialing for me, thankyouvery much. I did get a hand and arm massage.

She put this cream on me with a sort of brush thing. I told her that I felt like a giant cake someone was frosting. Then she and another lady put a lamp over my face and studied it which made me feel like a science experiment, and Inwardly apologized to all of the bacterium I ever put under a hot light.

Laveau watched everything and couldn't wait for me to get out of the bed. Eventually I was done and my face smelled like a veritable botanical cornucopia with mint, lavander, citrus, rose water, and at least five other herbs were used on my face.
And it's still the same as it always was. It was an interesting experience to have, though, that was for sure!

I think I'm probably going to trot into the great blue beyond singing the song about being a "beauty school drop-out."

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Pizza!

Don't get me wrong; I love to cook. However sometimes I'm feeling lazy and just want to order in and have dinner in my PJ's. Most of the time Mister Pawpower is around to call in our order, but when he is away, I go through what can only be described as phone hell to order dinner. It usually goes something like this.
I call the restaurant using Relay, and the person on the other end picks up:
Person: "Hello?"
Relay Operator: *explains relay*
P: "We don't want any"
*hang up*
Me: "redial number"
RO: *explains relay*
P: "I told you! I'm busy and don't want any!"
*hangs up*
Me: *gritting teeth and wondering if I should just suck it up and cook.
Eventually I get someone who isn't an idiot and I order dinner. Sometimes they won't listen so I send a nastygram to corporate, CC'ing the local manager. This usually results in shamed-face apology, as it should.

However, while perusing the iPhone App store, I found that Domino's has an app where you can order your pizza. It's very accessible with voiceover and a braille display. Better yet, I don't have to talk to ignorant people who don't listen to learn what relay is. Even better still, the app has a "pizza tracker" and it tells you where your pizza is in the making process, e.g. being made, cooking, out for delivery, etc. This was a liberating experience and their chocolate lava cakes are to die for. Now I have been spoiled by Domino's, I think all restaurants should have an app. Everyone accept the greek place who actually doesn't give me relay guff.

Pizza, anyone?

Festive Friday

Friday was the annual Holiday Party for work. For the past three or so years, they have chosen to hold it at this buffet place. Why upper management would pick a buffet to be the party place for a bunch of blind people is beyond me, but whatever. I asked my SSP to come with me and then do some holiday shopping afterward.

We arrived a bit late and found a table with my friend Laura, and another Deafblind coworker and his interpreter. We all chatted and hung out until the festivities started. We always have to pray before we eat-- a practice that makes me extremely uncomfortable. Religion, like politics, are things that should stay out of the workplace. Along with the prayer, there was some rambling about how "Jesus is the reason for the season." I'm sure the Jews and Pagans, and others in the audience didn't quite agree with that statement.

After all of that was finished it was time to go to the buffet. The line was in a very narrow space, and I was squeezed in with my SSP and Laveau. I wasn't very hungry, so got a little food and then went back to my seat. I always feel like I have to eat at rapid speed at this thing if I want to be a part of any lunch conversation. I have yet to grow that extra set of arms which will allow me to eat and talk at the same time. After the meal, we received hats with the number of years we've worked there printed on the back. We also got an end of year gift check which will come in handy.

After the festivities, my SSP and I went shopping. I can't list the places where we went, because I wouldn't want to give anything away. We eventually made our way to our vets to get flea and hart-worm medication for the girls, and to snag Laveau's Proin, which is the medication she takes for spay incontinence. Laveau got weighed and she's 60 lbs. She could gain a couple of pounds and still be fine. At 26 inches tall, her height is mostly leg, but I've noticed her looking a bit ribbie lately, so have taken to upping her food amounts. She is quite thrilled about this.

That night, I gave Gracy back to my friend across the river. We went to dinner first and since I still wasn't hungry, I mostly sat around and chatted which was nice. All in all, it was a pretty busy day!

Loster? More Lost?

If I had one of those little books which lists all of the obscure holidays, I would surely find that November 30th is International Get Lost Day. Next year I will know not to leave my house on this day.

Around 6 o'clock this evening, I realized that I was out of dog food for tomorrow. I feed a raw diet and thought I had purchased enough food, but my retired Boarder Collie guide, Gracy is here to visit so I miscalculated the number of mouthes to feed.. No problem, I'd just search the bus schedule, hop a bus and grab some marked-down turkey, and be back in an hour.

I Grabbed my phone and braille display, harnessed up the Dobermuffin, and off we went. We walked the seven or so blocks to the bus stop and only had to wait about two minutes when Laveau alerted me to the arrival of the bus. She guided me toward the door, and I waved at the driver so he knew we were going to ride. He responded by driving off in a cloud of fumes. I responded to his response by swearing... a lot... in a few languages.

I searched the bus company's website for the next bus' arrival. I waited. I texted with friends and Mister Pawpower. I practiced swearing some more.

Finally the buss pulled up again, and I got on. The driver was the same driver from before and he told me that he didn't see me standing there the first time. Which means that he was outright lying, or that he was very unobservant because I was waving at him and yelling for him to stop as he drove off. But whatever, I was on the bus and surely I was headed toward marked down turkey parts and by this point I was thinking seriously about a trip down the liquor section for medicinal reasons, of course.

We arrive at my stop, and the driver tells me that I should just go straight and I'd end up at the grocery store. Yes, fellow readers, my blog is like watching a horror movie where the ignorant heroin blithely ignores all of the signs of danger and continues onward. Why did I take directions from a driver who was so unobservant? I don't know, my best answer is that the cold slows down my thinking process. And I know to you yankees up in the frozen north are laughing at my version of cold, but really, 50 degrees is like, almost an ice-age.

Laveau and I get off the bus, and I tell her "forward!" And forward she goes. And goes, and goes, and goes... And that's when she walks me right over the train tracks. .....
Train tracks? Cue more swearing. Then Laveau alerts me to the noise, which signifies a train coming. We immediately turn around, and head the other direction. I tell Laveau to "find the inside." Eventually, she does! I thought we'd be wandering out there forever, in some kind of parking lot hell.

We go to the service counter, where we are assigned to someone who must have skipped high-school biology. When I asked her for turkey, she took me to the fish section. Who knows what they're doing in factory farms these days, but I am not remotely interested in seeing the cross breed of a turkey and a crawfish. Eventually the grocery lady figures out that turkey is in the section with the chickens, and we grab the required dog food. Thankfully my journey after that was pretty relaxed. However the cabby who took me home didn't have change for a twenty, so I gave him all of my ones instead, which didn't add up to the total cost of my trip. However twenty was way over-paying him. The cabby got grouchy with me, and I advised him to visit a bank before he started working.

I think I'm going to go to bed now, and not get up until tomorrow. Surely December 1st is International Pennies From Heaven Day, and my luck will have changed for the better.

ETA:
On another topic entirely, you know you're playing their music too loudly when the Deaf neighbor can feel the rhythmic vibrations coming through the floor, and when said vibrations set the Deaf neighbor's Deaf dog to barking! Now where'd I put that liquor?

I Once Was Lost but...

This morning we went to the field down the road that is a sort of dog park. In the afternoon, the children use the basketball hoop and baseball field, but the mornings-- especially in the fall and winter-- are for the dogs. The park is fenced in, and takes up an entire city block.

I took Bristol, Laveau, and Baylee, and instead of using her harness, Laveau just guided me using her leash (leash-guiding). We arrived and the dogs snuffed around and played with some other dogs. Laveau, of course, found a random tennis ball and I spent the next hour throwing it. I need to put one of those "chuck-it" things on my holiday list, or something, because after a while tennis balls get yucky. The dogs played some more, Bristol alternately begged for treats, flirted with people, and read/replied to the pee-mail. Soon it was time to leave.

Usually, I enter the park through the eastern gate. I walk in a straight line from the gate and always keep in mind where it is in relation to me. Well this morning, I obviously had not imbibed the required amounts of tea for my brain to be at optimum functioning level because I realized, about half-way through our romp that I had no idea where the gate was. I got the girls leashed up, ad told Laveau to "find the outside," which means for her to find the nearest exit. She found a gate, but it wasn't *our* gate. I had no idea where I was. I told Laveau to "find home" and in five minutes we were on the porch. All that without a harness, I'm proud of her.

Now I'm off to read more of my book, "V is for Vengeance" by Sue Grafton. I love new books in much-beloved series.

I AM! the Inspiration! Baby!

This post is for the November edition of the <"Disability Blog Carnival">

I sit with my ASL teacher in a coffee shop. Today's lesson is about drugs, alcohol, and swear words.
My teacher begins, and I rest my hands atop hers. With her right hand she spells out "cocaine" and then makes the sign. I repeat it back to her. My teacher pauses, and then tells me that someone has walked up to our table. My teacher then begins interpreting this lady's words. "I saw you sitting over here and I wanted to come and tell you how inspirational you are. I think it is so amazing that even though you are both deaf and blind, you can come here all by yourself, and get coffee all by yourself. It's wonderful that you have special friends who can talk to you. I love watching you, and I think you are so inspirational." Before I can begin to compose something sufficiently snarky, she walks away. My teacher laughs, I laugh, and we joke about cocaine being inspirational. Then she jokingly says that the ASL sign for "inspirational" should be my new name sign, because I AM! the inspiration, baby.


I am in the mall with my SSP, and we are waiting at the Apple Store for the Geniuses to fix my Mac. We are deep into a discussion of dog poop, when a young woman comes up to us and says: "I think sign language is so beautiful. I just love watching you guys signing to each other. That is so special, and wonderful. Tell her that she's inspirational." The young woman leaves, and we roll our eyes and make my new inspirational name sign, which has become a joke amongst all of my friends.

I have a staff meeting for work. The room we are using is full because another meeting was taking place in there and had run late. My interpreters arrive, and we sit down in the lobby and begin chatting while we wait for the room to empty. I am telling a funny story about a misadventure I'd had earlier in the week, and then I leave to check to see if the meeting room had emptied. a client of my agency says: "Wow, is she deaf or deaf and blind?" My interpreter tells her that I'm Deafblind. The lady's eyes widen and she says: "Wow! and you have the biggest smile on your face when you talk to her. That is so amazing, I'll bet it's like talking to an angel from heaven." My interpreter tries not to laugh, and replies that no, she is smiling because I was telling her a funny story. The client then tells my interpreter that it is such a blessing that she can still laugh even though she is deaf and blind, and that I am an inspiration. Upon my return, my interpreter repeats this entire conversation back to me, and we roll our eyes and make the sign.

Whenever my friends or family tell embarrassing stories about me, or tease me, or play practical jokes on me, I remind them that I am an angel from heaven, and an inspiration and that they'd best give me the proper reverence or I may stick a whoopee cushion under their chair the next time we're at a restaurant. Don't mess with me! I AM! the INSPIRATION, baby! And don't you forget it!

Stop and Go Laveau

It seems that the Pawpower Pack got together and decided that this week it was Laveau's turn to be led around by the nose... Well maybe not by the nose, exactly but...

Yesterday I was in the kitchen letting the dogs in from the yard when I realized that Laveau hadn't gone out at all. I let the other dogs in, and then called Laveau to go outside. Laveau has a great recall, so I was surprised when she didn't recall to my side right away. I called again, and again she didn't come to me, so I went searching for her. I found her, trying to walk toward me, but having an awfully hard time of it because Baylee had taken hold of Laveau's collar in her mouth and was trying to hold her back because she wanted Laveau to stay inside and play with her. I think Mister Pawpower is going to have his hands full with Miss Stripes!

Today we were getting all of the dogs ready to go for a walk. I decided that Laveau would guide me, and Mill'E-Max would walk on my right, with Mister Pawpower taking Bristol and Baylee. I got Laveau harnessed up, and clipped her leash to her collar. Then I turned to help the other dogs get ready. I turned around with Mill'E-Max's leash in hand, only to find her walking off, Laveau's leash in her mouth, so that Laveau had no choice but to go with her. I have no idea what was going through her mind when she decided to walk the dog herself. Maybe I could hire her out as a dog walker?


Although Mill'E-Max did somewhat redeem herself today by picking up a dropped hot dog from the floor and giving it back to me. Of course I no longer wanted it, since it was covered with dog spit and floor germs, so I gave it back to her as her reward for giving it to me to begin with. I will continue to wonder what people who don't have dogs do for entertainment.

The Pawsuit of Happiness

Today we went to a festival, which is hardly newsworthy, seeing how New Orleans seems to be the festival capitol of the world. This was a festival which was different than most; it was for pets. They had different booths and activities. It was me, Laveau, Mister Pawpower, Baylee, and my SSP.

We arrived and my SSP laughed because as we were entering the festival grounds, Laveau had to walk by a large lake. The path was right next to the lake and at one point, she took me near the edge so she could stare with great longing at the water. I am blind, and can't read her facial expression, but even I could feel her mental wheels turning. She loves to swim. But this was not on our schedule for today. After she gazed her fill upon the forbidden water, we entered the festival area.

My SSP started describing to me all of the booths set up by different vendors. We stopped at a booth selling collars and got Baylee a new collar with "Who Dat!" written on it. The collar is black and gold which matches Baylee's coloring really well. She was also growing out of her puppy collar, which was pink and Mister Pawpower needed a more manly collar for his dog. Then we stopped by a booth set up by a local pet shop, and I bought Laveau a hard rubber ball which looks to have great bouncing potential. This should make Laveau quite happy as chasing the ball is tied with swimming for her favorite activity. We passed a bunch of other booths, and saw loads of dogs.

There was a giant bucket of water out for the dogs to drink. I let Laveau have some, but she surprised me by hopping into the bucket with all four legs and swishing around in it. Guess she was getting even with me for not letting her swim in the lake. Once I was able to stop laughing and talk, I told her to get out of the bucket, which she did, reluctantly.
We met a family who had an English Mastiff. That dog was HUGE! He weighed 220 lbs, and his owner said that he ate 45 lbs of food every week. You know you are a dog owner when your mind immediately runs to the amount of poop that dog must deliver to his humans every day. It's like having a horse, only one that sleeps in bed with you! We also met a little girl who was around 5 or so. She was learning some signs and wanted to talk to me, so was showing me all of her ASL. It was so cute, and she had such tiny hands.

We went to a kissing booth run by Boxer Rescue. They were doing the booth to raise money to help pay the vet bills for sick Boxers.. The dog they had today was so cute. She was brown and gave sweet little kisses. The kissing booth was kind of a table thing. The dog was at like chest height on me, and would give kisses. Well she saw Laveau who was being very good at keeping "four on the floor" but who really wanted her own Boxer kisses. So the Boxer leaned down, and Laveau leaned up, and it was like a scene from Romeo and Juliet when their noses finally touched.

We walked and walked and walked some more. Laveau flirted with some more dogs and eventually we ended up getting some lemonade because it was hot. I got water mellon lemonade which was very good. We finally left the festival around 3:30. both Baylee and Laveau are exhausted.
I think Mister Pawpower is cooking French Toast for dinner, with sausage and syrup. I am getting hungry, so shall go prod him in the general direction of the kitchen.

Deaf is not a four-letter word

"You don't look blind!"
"You don't sound deaf."

People tell me those things on a weekly basis. I might be slow on the uptake, but what does "blind" look like? What does "deaf" sound like?

When you think of "deaf" or "blind," what are the images which pop into your mind? The man wearing sunglasses, stumbling along, white cane in hand, trying to find his way along city streets? The woman who doesn't voice, and instead uses an interpreter?
Stumbling? Not as intelligent as "normal" people? Unable to "speak?" Clueless? Dependent? Helpless? Uneducated?

This is how history, and the media defines people who are deaf or blind.

I'm not what you think I am, and because I don't fall into line with stereotypes, I am told that I don't look or sound the way someone thinks I should.

Blindness is a spectrum term. Deafness is a spectrum term as well. There are many faces of deafness and blindness, not to mention deafblindness. We are not just one type of person with many faces. We are a cross-section of society just like "normal" people. I walk confidently, and look at people when I speak to them. Unless people see my dog or my braille book or display, you would think I were sighted. I voice for myself because I'm post-lingually deafened. I don't have any kind of "speech impediment," because I'm post-lingually deafened. I'm not ignorant, nor am I any more special than the next person. Unless you see me signing, or talk to me over the phone via relay, you would never know I am deaf.

Because I don't conform to people's standards of what they think blindness, or deafness should be, some people seem to be afraid to use the terms "deaf" and "blind." This is especially true of the word "deaf."
"She's d-d-d-... d-d-d ... ... hearing challenged." This was spoken by someone who knows me quite well. Someone who interacts with me extensively every day. Why is it so hard for her, and for others to say it? DEAF! I'm deaf. If you look at my audiogram, I have a 105 decibel loss in my "good" ear, and a 135 decibel loss in the ear that is there strictly for decoration. That's pretty darned deaf. I wear a hearing aid because I have to, in order to work where I do. I don't wear it at home, or when I'm relaxing. I self-identify as deaf, and have always thought of myself this way. So why is it so hard for others to say the D-word? I think it's because I don't comply with the stereotype of deafness, whatever that is.
I am involved in the Deafblind community. I use American Sign Language, both at work and with friends. I self-identify as culturally Deafblind. If there was a "cure" for my deafness, or my blindness, I wouldn't take it because I am who I am, and I like myself this way.

I've asked people why they continue to stumble around, searching for terms to describe my hearing loss when a readily available one is at hand? A word which i, myself use? It certainly isn't in order to save my feelings, because if the word deaf bothered me, I wouldn't use it when referring to myself. The most common answer I get is this:
"I don't want people to get the wrong idea about you."
And what idea would that be? That I can't hear? Because I can't hear. That is the simple truth, right there; I can't hear. Or is it really because I don't fall into line with our society's pre-conceived notion of what "deaf" is. If other people are discomfited by my word choices, then they should get over it, because I am not changing. Since it is me I am talking about, I have the right to identify myself in the way most appropriate. And that is deaf. People are going to just have to swallow their resistance and say it; because I will keep correcting them, and I will continue calling them out on it.
I am not impaired, or challenged. I am deaf. I voice, I use ASL, I read braille. I have several methods of communication at my disposal, and I will use whichever meets my needs for that moment. I am not helpless, nor lacking in intellect. I have a work and social life, made up of friends and coworkers, deaf and hearing, blind and sighted. I am a wife, a teacher, a dog trainer, a herbalist. I love dirty limericks, ASL poetry, and long books. I am fond of dark chocolate and cold tea. And I am Deafblind.

Just Us Bitches

Mister Pawpower is in Colorado, visiting his family. Since Baylee dog is too young to fly, I have her in addition to the three big girls. So it's a house full of bitches. He has been gone since Thursday and I have spent time cooking with foods I like and Mister Pawpower does not, such as brie, smoked salmon, and asparagus. My SSP and I took all of the dogs to the dog park and that was very fun.

A lady showed up with a Komondor, and I got to run my hands through it's flocks! I want a dog with flocks! We also had a funny incident, where a police car drove close to me, and even though all of the girls were off leash, they saw it, and all came running, and stood as a barrier between me and the car. An off-leash traffic check.

Today I took Laveau and Baylee to the coffee shop. The handy man was working in my kitchen and I was hungry, so off we went. Since it was so lovely, we all sat outside and enjoyed the weather. Baylee had the hard chore of keeping her "down/stay" and not getting up to investigate her surroundings.

I have actually got to spend quite a bit of time reading since there is no other human in the house. Yes, it is possible to read and eat simultaneously.

Now that all of the dogs have had their last outside time for the day, I guess it's bed time for me. Dogs don't understand the meaning of changing the clocks back, and I'm spending my mornings trying to convince them that yes, they really can wait a little longer for breakfast. Whoever said that "fall back" gives a person an extra hour of sleep certainly did not have dogs!

Bubba!

I have always loved this time of year, ever since I was a kid. One of my favorite fall activities is pumpkin carving. I remember making groceries with my Father. Come fall, we'd get out of the car, walk toward the store, and there they'd be; the heaps of orange pumpkins. Maybe I like pumpkins so much because that particular shade of orange is one which I can clearly see. We would go through the heaps of pumpkins, and each of us girls would pick out "the perfect" one.

Several hours later, we would cover the table with newspaper, and begin carving our pumpkins. My sisters were much better pumpkin artists than I was. I remember clearly, my father very patiently helping me to get it "just right." Come Halloween night, we'd put candles in our jack-o-lanterns and set them on our front porch.

Even now, when I'm supposedly a grown up, I still carve a pumpkin come Halloween. Well actually Mister Pawpower and I do it together. It started many years ago. Our first pumpkin was quite ugly. His eyes were narrow-set, and rather windswept. The nose was huge, the mouth rather lopsided. Once we had finished carving our first pumpkin, we went to put the top back on, only to discover that it was missing. We searched everywhere, and eventually began searching the dog's crates. Rule of paw at our house is that is something is missing, always check the crates. We found the top to our pumpkin, a bit the worse for wear, in Rudy's crate. Apparently he found the taste of pumpkin to be rather pleasant, and to that end, had taken a few nibbles from the edge. The top still fit, though. But it look like an in-bred hick had come out second-best with a shotgun. So we named our pumpkin Shotgun Bubba.

That started the tradition of naming all of our pumpkins Bubba. Usually with describers at the beginning of their names. Through the years, we've had Bad, Bad, LeRoy Brown Bubba, Shit-Eating-Grin Bubba, and Back-Alley, Blind-Justice Bubba, just to name a few.

This year was no different. On Saturday I went with my SSP to pick out this year's Bubba. She showed me these cool pumpkins that looked like the ones from Cinderella. And here I thought that the pumpkins in Cinderella just looked like regular, normal pumpkins. Just goes to show what I know. I decided to pick just a regular old traditional pumpkin. I found a round one with a jaunty stem, and paid for it. Today Mister Pawpower and I commenced to carving up our Bubba.

Now Mister Pawpower is very good at making straight lines and carving recognizable shapes. Me...? not so much, as my Father can attest. So despite Mister Pawpower's careful carving, I always end up making it look crazy, because I can't carve anything right to save my life.

This year's pumpkin is <"Cave-Man, Me No Have Dental Insurance Bubba."> The dental insurance part is because I kind of messed up on the teeth. The cave man part, because he is noticeably lacking in a forehead.

We celebrated the successful carving of our Bubba with a barbecue, and will roast the seeds to snack on for later.

The dogs, as always, took great delight in eating the guts of the pumpkin. Tomorrow our Bubba will go out on the porch and will frighten the entire neighborhood, I'm sure.

Autumn Roundup

The universe has seen fit to have mercy upon us down here in "da swamp." We have officially entered into the season known as "not summer." This means that one can safely go outdoors without immediately becoming drenched. This new state allows for more frequent outside activities such as long walks and barbecuing, and long evenings spent on the porch with a six-pack.

Baylee is growing, but that is the nature of puppies so it shouldn't come as a surprise. But seeing as how this is my first ever dog to have from a puppy, I am surprised daily by her. It's like, one day her body will pick one part and will focus all of its growing might upon it. She is now 33 lbs and I can't pack her around with ease any more. Baylee is enjoying being bigger, and the more advantage her new-found size gives her in games of chase and tackle.

I have downloaded the new IOS on to my iPhone and have really enjoyed playing with all of the new features. I may actually get the iPhone 4s itself, once I have a chance to have a good long chat with the fine folks at AT&T. My old 3gs is over two years old and is beginning to show its age. If I do get the new phone, it will be very exciting because I'm a geek.

I am also getting a new braille display because my Braille Note has been broken more than it has been working lately. Human Ware, the manufacturer of this device is slow to repair the units and has recently broken mine even further in an attempt to "fix" it. This will be my last Braille Note. I have not had my unit in over two months and am very grateful for the loaner which allows me to use my iPhone and have independent communication. Because of all of these problems with Human Ware, it is necessary for me to get a new display for use with my Macbook and my iPhone. I am eagerly awaiting its arrival; see part above about geeks.
Miss Bristol is enjoying a bout of renewed vigor thanks to the cooler weather. She will be fourteen years young in December and we are enjoying every day we get with her.

I have just finished my 127th book of the year. I am currently engrossed in the universe of Stephanie Plum. Janet Evanovich's writing improves as the series progresses, and I highly recommend these books if you need some light reading. Once I finish my current book, I think I'll take a break from the Plum universe and read "Interview With a Vampire." It's either that or "Dracula." I haven't decided. Something scary and appropriate for the season

Oh and it is pumpkin-carving time. Our "bubba" will be carved some time this weekend or next week and I will post pictures of our... masterpiece.

That is the update from here, I need to take a dive into our huge dog freezer to search for tomorrow's canine breakfast. I'm always afraid I'll fall in there, head first one of these days.
So if you are looking for me, and I'm nowhere to be found, check the freezer.

Independent Living Without Sight and Hearing

Yesterday I read a book called "Independent Living Without Sight and Hearing." It was written by Richard Kinney and was published in the 1970's. While reading this book, it really hit me how much technology has really changed the lives of deafblind people within the last thirty years.

In Mr. Kinney's day, there was no way for a person who was blind as well as deaf to use the phone. You couldn't access a TTY for sighted deaf if your couldn't read print. In his book he mentions a couple of devices for using the phone with someone who knew Morse Code. These devices were called the Tactaphone and the Sensicall. They were attached to a phone and the hearing caller could tap out messages in Morse Code which were felt as vibrations by the deafblind person on the other end. If the deafblind person could voice they could speak back. Reading about the lengths a person who was deafblind went through just to place a simple phone call, made me so thankful for my iPhone and braille display.

In the book he also mentioned that the
<"National Library Service for the Blind and Physically Handicapped">
had 10,000 braille books available for loan.
10,000 books sounds like a lot... at first... But if you really think about it, and compare it to what sighted/hearing people have, it is only a drop in the bucket. If you had special interests, such as growing carnivorous plants, you were basically out of luck. If you were Christian, there were several charities which would provide you with religious material in braille. There is even a Jewish Braille Institute which provided materials, however if you were another religion, you couldn't get any material easily available in braille.

Today we have
<"Bookshare">
which has, at last estimate, over 125,000 books. The content is largely user driven, so if you are interested in a particular title, or area of interest, you can scan books for the collection, or have a friend do it for you. There are books on almost every topic you can think of. There are sacred texts from many different religions from around the world. There are fiction books, cook books, self-help books, and text books for school. If you have a braille display and a computer or smartphone, or a note-taking device specially designed for the blind and deafblind, you can read. What's more, you can keep the books you like. Braille is three times the size of print. As an example, the first book in the Harry Potter series takes up four volumes in hardcopy braille. I think the book is somewhere in the range of 300 pages.

If I kept every book I loved and wanted to reread or own in hardcopy braille, I would need entire building devoted to housing my book collection. While something like this sounds like the closest thing to heaven on earth, to a bibliophile like myself, it is not financially feasible at this time.

Thanks to technology, I can keep copies of books on a jump drive to be read later. I can keep reference books, and cook books. My braille display weighs 2 pounds whether its hard drive is full of books or not.
Mr. Kinney's book also goes into great detail about the communication methods used by deafblind people during this time period. Although most DB people were using
<"The Rochester Method">
Which was made most famous by Helen Keller and her teacher Annie Sullivan. It is the one-handed American Manual Alphabet-- the same one used today. This book does not discuss the use of ASL or other signed languages at all.

It does discuss the use of morse code and the British Two-Handed Manual Alphabet. This Alphabet is still in use today around the world, by deafblind people from Canada to Scotland. The books gives very detailed descriptions of all three types of communication. I have always wanted to learn the British Two-Handed Manual Alphabet so that I may more easily chat with DB people from other parts of the world. I already know the One-Handed Manual Alphabet but I don't know Morse code and I think it might be interesting to learn so I have it in my "communication tool box."
Although much of the information is out-dated, this book was still a fascinating read. It really brought home to me how blessed I am to be a DB person living in this current time. I have access to information at my fingertips and on demand. I can call a taxi, read a recipe for curry chicken, or place an order for new shoes by myself. I have frequently heard some people say that technology cuts people off from one another. This may be true to some extent. However for a deafblind person, I believe the opposite is true.

Because of Steve

I'm not really one to be interested in the goings-on of celebrities. However there is one person whom most would consider a "celeb" that changed my life. When the smartphone craze started happening, I was largely left out due to my increasing hearing loss. I canceled my contract with Verizon in 2006, because I was no longer able to use the phone. From that period until 2009, I didn't have one. For most people, a cell phone is a nice thing to have. However for a deafblind person it's a necessity.

I got my first iPhone in 2009. I was able to place relay calls, use GPS, text, and use many other apps right from my phone. For a person who can see and hear, this isn't probably such a big deal. You can read street signs, use a pay phone, if you had to, or read the ingredients on a box of crackers. I can do all of these things with my iPhone.
It has literally opened up an entirely new world for me, and many other deafblind people. It levels the communication playing field and gives us equal access to information which is something we have never experienced. My life-changing ability to have this device which supports braille displays and third-party applications is a large result of the work of Steve Jobs. No matter what you may think of Apple, or its products, or of Mr. Jobs personally, it cannot be disputed that he has changed lives. He has changed my life.

My sincerest condolences go out to his family and friends. They have lost more than just an innovative thinker-- they have lost a husband, a father, a friend. Steve will very much be missed.

Thank you, Steve for everything. Rest in peace.

Love Letter To A Puppy

When you were new, your paws so soft, and untried.
Your toenails miniscule, and me afraid to cut them.
I carry you from room to room, with your head tucked under my chin-- feeling your sweet puppy breaths on my neck.
You are sleeping-- your head in the crook of my elbow, your tail draped over my wrist.
I watch you breathe, and for a little while I know what it is like to feel complete.

Days pass, weeks pass, and you shoot upward.
Your long legs have not learned the art of moving in concert.
I watch as you stumble, fall, and rise again.
We lengthen your collar, and shorten your leash.
I stand with you balanced on my hip-- now your head is above mine.

Yet more, outward, upward, ever changing, moving on, learning more.
I think if I just held still, and didn't blink, I could watch you growing-- see your brain expanding with each new experience.
A year from now, you'll be someone's eyes.
You will stand between him and the very big world
with cars, and shards of glass, and angry people all around you.
This is your purpose, this is the plan.
But as you sleep next to me, curled into a ball of striped legs and ears, and that very long tail, I watch you dream.
The selfish part, that protective part of myself which I didn't even know I had until you came along, wishes that you could stay a puppy forever.
I wish that I could still carry you in the crook of my elbow, and feel your soft paws on my face.
When I was young, they told me that growing up was over-rated. I never understood what they meant until today.

A Final Act of Service

A guide dog has many jobs. Stopping at changes of elevation, taking its handler around partial or total barricades on the path of travel, and finding entrances and exits are the most familiar jobs that guide dogs are asked to perform. However there is another task-- one that we don't really think about much. That job is to pull the handler out of the path of on-coming traffic, either by pulling their person back, or getting in front of them and body blocking them. This part of being a guide dog has cost many dogs their lives. Yesterday it happened again.

Our friend has been hospitalized with broken bones and is recovering from surgery. His dog-- who saved his life-- was euthanized because her injuries were too severe, and the only thing that could be done was to end her suffering.

I can't even describe my feelings when I heard this news. Shock, quickly followed by horror and sadness. And the knowledge that my dog, who is currently sleeping next to me on my pillow could be asked, one day, to pay this final price.

I will hold all of mine extra close tonight and will remember the ones we have lost.

I would also ask my sighted readers who drive to pay attention. When you make the choice to get behind the wheel of your car, you are taking on a huge responsibility. This responsibility means that you need to pay attention when you are on the road. Using the phone or flipping through your stack of CDs for "just one second" could end up costing someone their life. Pay attention!

... and hug your dogs tonight, and if you have any extra juju, or energy, send some to a friend who was the victim of someone's random act of carelessness, and who is grieving the loss of his partner.

She's Too Purdy!

I arrived home from Massachusetts on Saturday. I was actually supposed to arrive home Friday night, but that is another tail for another day. Suffice it to say that the plane I was scheduled to take out of Albany couldn't fly out, so the airlines put me up in a hotel for the night.

In my experience, airport personnel are, by and large, the most ignorant people when it comes to knowing the laws which apply to assistance animals and their handlers. The problem is, that most of these people don't believe that they are ignorant-- on the contrary, they tend to misquote the law to me at least once every trip, and when I argue with them and tell them to point out the applicable section of the law to me, they get miffed and can become downright nasty. This trip was sadly no exception.

Saturday morning, I showed up to the Albany airport, bright and early. Laveau was with me, naturally. We made our way to the counter so I could check my luggage, when the woman behind the counter demanded "certification" for my dog. The Air Carrier Access Act (ACAA) is the law which gives persons with disabilities the right to travel on aircraft in the United States with assistance animals. Certification is not required. In fact the law states that if the dog is wearing an identifying harness or vest, or if the handler gives "credible verbal assurance" that certification shouldn't be an issue. Laveau was wearing both harness and vest. She walked me up to the counter and was obviously guiding me. But this lady wants certification. So I very politely inform her that certification is not necessary as a condition of access. And then she says that my dog's harness is different than most dogs and it looks "too pretty" so she must not be a guide dog.

Juuuuuust when I thought I'd heard everything, some moron comes along, and opens their mouth thereby proving that the horizons of idiocy are boundless. I inform this woman that the ACAA does not define what equipment an assistance dog may wear. That would be like your car insurance carrier telling you which color of car you may own. Laveau's harness is zebra striped, black and white. Her cape is purple with zebra striped trim and large letters which say "PAWPOWER SERVICE DOG." So we've got the "identifying harness and vest" section of the law covered, no?

I tell this lady that my dog's gear is of no concern to her and that yes she is an assistance dog. The lady then says "So are you blind, or what?" I wanted to reply with "or what?" But I held my tongue and informed her, ever so kindly, that it is not required by law for me to disclose the nature of my particular disability/s. I will gladly tell anyone the tasks my dog performs which mitigate my disability/s but my disability/s are my own and they are personal. This person had not obviously read the law. I told her what tasks Laveau performs which mitigate my disability/s and went on my way with my dog in her pretty gear.

Then I got selected for a random search and the TSA agent managed to turn my carefully packed and organized bag into a jumble of stuff in under two minutes. Now I remember why I stick to riding the train!
With idiotic airport staff aside, it was a wonderful trip and Laveau had so much fun, and played so hard, that she slept for two days once we got home.

Rocket Rox!

Laveau and I made it to Massachusetts without incident. On Saturday morning, we went to a garlic festival held in Vermont. It was really neat. There were many different tables set up and you could try all kinds of different things with garlic in them. We had garlic cheeses and dips, garlic mustard and pesto, salsas, and infused oils. I ended up buying a few things to bring home. We also got an order of fried garlic cloves and fried pickles to share. It was a lot of fun.

Yesterday we stayed around home in the morning, but in the afternoon we drove to Saratoga Springs, New York with our friend Lynn. We went to an Irish pub for dinner and I had some lovely Irish cider with my dinner. After we had eaten, we went to the Saratoga Performing Arts Center to see Elton John in concert.

I would like to publicly thank John Huff and Kevin Appler of the Saratoga Performing Arts Center and Live Nation tours for finding me two very skilled tactile ASL interpreters for the show. The entire staff at the SPAC were very professional and courteous, and they helped make this evening an unforgettable time for me.

We were supposed to sit on the lawn, but we were moved to an area directly in front of the stage so we could be close to the interpreters. My two interpreters were really great and we spent time chatting before the show.

The opening act were cellos, and apparently they played popular music by Michael Jackson and Guns and Roses. My friends said it was quite odd.

Elton then came on and he was wearing a suit with roses embroidered on the sleeves and across the back. The pinstripes on his pants were diamonds.

He had a full band and a chorus. I couldn't really hear much at all. His piano was a full grand, and I could feel it in my chest when he played it. My interpreters were great at describing his playing. At one point he was sitting on his piano and playing it, another time he sat on the bench like you'd sit a horse.

He played many old favorites-- Daniel, Benny and the Jets, and Your song to name a few. My favorite by far was Rocket Man. We all stood up and were dancing. My interpreter had her hands up over our heads for the rockets and we were basically doing an ASL dance. The energy in the room at that moment was really amazing. He also played Crocodile Rock and that is very fun in ASL.

Elton walked through the audience shaking hands and making autographs. My interpreter got his autograph for me which is so exciting! It is my first ever autograph.

Laveau and my friend's dog, Yancy, both did really well. Laveau laid with my friends Lynn and Nancy because it was more out of the way. I had to sit facing my interpreters and there was not a place for her where she wasn't in the way, so I sent her back to lay with them and she did fine.

Before the concert started, we got a great deal of rain, complete with thunder and lightning. I was glad we weren't sitting on the lawn, let me tell you! The drive home was quiet; we stopped for caffeine and doughnuts and for the first time ever, Laveau slept in the car she was so tired.

We got home around two in the morning and I went right to bed and slept until eleven. I am still tired believe it or not! Tonight my friend's husband is making his special lamb recipe. It is my favorite ever lamb dish, and I am looking forward to it. Her husband is a very skilled cook and we have had everything from blackberry pancakes to hot wings.

Today we are going to just relax around the house. It is rainy and gray outside and we could all use a day of chillaxing. I think there will be Scrabble and Uno games later in the day.

Happy Labor Day y'all!

Celebrating the Orange Dog

Eight years ago today, the orange dog became a part of our pack. We celebrated this momentous occasion with giant perfect bones from the butchers. I thought I'd celebrate her anniversary on the blog by doing
Eight factoids about Mill'E-Max
1. Her name is actually Miele (said like me ay lay). It is italian for honey, since she is kind of that same color.
2. When she was a puppy she ate an entire pealed grapefruit, and a bag of Twizzlers. To this day she will beg like crazy if she sees me eating either one of those things.
3. Mill'E-Max has been on two cruises with me and has been to Mexico, Grand Caiman and Jamaica.
4. She can, and has retrieved something the size of a small pill, and as large as a gallon of milk. She has also retrieved my hearing aid several times without even getting it wet.
5. She loves helping with laundry. Emptying the dryer is her favorite job, and after she is done, she enjoys crawling into the warm dryer and taking a nap.
6. She talks more than any other dog I've ever had. She enjoys having conversations, and if I grrr, grrr, grrrr! at her she will do it right back. I can't hear it any more but I can feel it. She really likes wrapping paper tubes because they amplify her grrr! She has been known, on multiple occasions to spend minutes at a time parading through the house with said tube listening to herself gggrrrrrr! It is not a "I'm going to bite you grrr, it is a talking sound and I will have to make a recording of it.
7. She knows how to lead other dogs around by holding the leash in her mouth. I have trained her to go find Bristol and bring her back to me via a traffic lead attach to Bristol's collar.
8. It is one of her "jobs" to wake me up in the morning. She will at first lay on me and lick my face. If this does not work, she will resort to removal of pillows and blankets. She also will lay on her side and literally use her four feet to push me out of bed if I continue to resist. She does not have a snooze button, most unfortunately.

Happy eight years together Mill'E-Max Weatherwax! May we be so lucky to have at least eight more.






That'll Do
Lyrics by Randy Newman

A kind and steady heart
can make a grey sky blue;
And a task that seems impossible
is quite possible for you.
A kind and steady heart
is sure to see you through.
It may not seem like very much right now but it'll do, it'll do.

When you find yourself in the middle of a storm
And you're tired and cold and wet,
And you're looking for a place that's cozy and warm
You'll make it if you never forget:

A kind and steady heart
can conquer doubt and fear.
A little courage goes a long long way,
Gets you little bit further down the road each day,
And before you know it
you'll here someone say:
That'll do, Babe, that'll do.

A kind and steady heart
is sure to see you through.
A little courage goes a long, long way,
Gets you little bit further down the road each day,
And before you know it you'll hear someone say:
That'll do, that'll do,
That'll do, Babe, that'll do.