Bubba!

I have always loved this time of year, ever since I was a kid. One of my favorite fall activities is pumpkin carving. I remember making groceries with my Father. Come fall, we'd get out of the car, walk toward the store, and there they'd be; the heaps of orange pumpkins. Maybe I like pumpkins so much because that particular shade of orange is one which I can clearly see. We would go through the heaps of pumpkins, and each of us girls would pick out "the perfect" one.

Several hours later, we would cover the table with newspaper, and begin carving our pumpkins. My sisters were much better pumpkin artists than I was. I remember clearly, my father very patiently helping me to get it "just right." Come Halloween night, we'd put candles in our jack-o-lanterns and set them on our front porch.

Even now, when I'm supposedly a grown up, I still carve a pumpkin come Halloween. Well actually Mister Pawpower and I do it together. It started many years ago. Our first pumpkin was quite ugly. His eyes were narrow-set, and rather windswept. The nose was huge, the mouth rather lopsided. Once we had finished carving our first pumpkin, we went to put the top back on, only to discover that it was missing. We searched everywhere, and eventually began searching the dog's crates. Rule of paw at our house is that is something is missing, always check the crates. We found the top to our pumpkin, a bit the worse for wear, in Rudy's crate. Apparently he found the taste of pumpkin to be rather pleasant, and to that end, had taken a few nibbles from the edge. The top still fit, though. But it look like an in-bred hick had come out second-best with a shotgun. So we named our pumpkin Shotgun Bubba.

That started the tradition of naming all of our pumpkins Bubba. Usually with describers at the beginning of their names. Through the years, we've had Bad, Bad, LeRoy Brown Bubba, Shit-Eating-Grin Bubba, and Back-Alley, Blind-Justice Bubba, just to name a few.

This year was no different. On Saturday I went with my SSP to pick out this year's Bubba. She showed me these cool pumpkins that looked like the ones from Cinderella. And here I thought that the pumpkins in Cinderella just looked like regular, normal pumpkins. Just goes to show what I know. I decided to pick just a regular old traditional pumpkin. I found a round one with a jaunty stem, and paid for it. Today Mister Pawpower and I commenced to carving up our Bubba.

Now Mister Pawpower is very good at making straight lines and carving recognizable shapes. Me...? not so much, as my Father can attest. So despite Mister Pawpower's careful carving, I always end up making it look crazy, because I can't carve anything right to save my life.

This year's pumpkin is <"Cave-Man, Me No Have Dental Insurance Bubba."> The dental insurance part is because I kind of messed up on the teeth. The cave man part, because he is noticeably lacking in a forehead.

We celebrated the successful carving of our Bubba with a barbecue, and will roast the seeds to snack on for later.

The dogs, as always, took great delight in eating the guts of the pumpkin. Tomorrow our Bubba will go out on the porch and will frighten the entire neighborhood, I'm sure.

Autumn Roundup

The universe has seen fit to have mercy upon us down here in "da swamp." We have officially entered into the season known as "not summer." This means that one can safely go outdoors without immediately becoming drenched. This new state allows for more frequent outside activities such as long walks and barbecuing, and long evenings spent on the porch with a six-pack.

Baylee is growing, but that is the nature of puppies so it shouldn't come as a surprise. But seeing as how this is my first ever dog to have from a puppy, I am surprised daily by her. It's like, one day her body will pick one part and will focus all of its growing might upon it. She is now 33 lbs and I can't pack her around with ease any more. Baylee is enjoying being bigger, and the more advantage her new-found size gives her in games of chase and tackle.

I have downloaded the new IOS on to my iPhone and have really enjoyed playing with all of the new features. I may actually get the iPhone 4s itself, once I have a chance to have a good long chat with the fine folks at AT&T. My old 3gs is over two years old and is beginning to show its age. If I do get the new phone, it will be very exciting because I'm a geek.

I am also getting a new braille display because my Braille Note has been broken more than it has been working lately. Human Ware, the manufacturer of this device is slow to repair the units and has recently broken mine even further in an attempt to "fix" it. This will be my last Braille Note. I have not had my unit in over two months and am very grateful for the loaner which allows me to use my iPhone and have independent communication. Because of all of these problems with Human Ware, it is necessary for me to get a new display for use with my Macbook and my iPhone. I am eagerly awaiting its arrival; see part above about geeks.
Miss Bristol is enjoying a bout of renewed vigor thanks to the cooler weather. She will be fourteen years young in December and we are enjoying every day we get with her.

I have just finished my 127th book of the year. I am currently engrossed in the universe of Stephanie Plum. Janet Evanovich's writing improves as the series progresses, and I highly recommend these books if you need some light reading. Once I finish my current book, I think I'll take a break from the Plum universe and read "Interview With a Vampire." It's either that or "Dracula." I haven't decided. Something scary and appropriate for the season

Oh and it is pumpkin-carving time. Our "bubba" will be carved some time this weekend or next week and I will post pictures of our... masterpiece.

That is the update from here, I need to take a dive into our huge dog freezer to search for tomorrow's canine breakfast. I'm always afraid I'll fall in there, head first one of these days.
So if you are looking for me, and I'm nowhere to be found, check the freezer.

Independent Living Without Sight and Hearing

Yesterday I read a book called "Independent Living Without Sight and Hearing." It was written by Richard Kinney and was published in the 1970's. While reading this book, it really hit me how much technology has really changed the lives of deafblind people within the last thirty years.

In Mr. Kinney's day, there was no way for a person who was blind as well as deaf to use the phone. You couldn't access a TTY for sighted deaf if your couldn't read print. In his book he mentions a couple of devices for using the phone with someone who knew Morse Code. These devices were called the Tactaphone and the Sensicall. They were attached to a phone and the hearing caller could tap out messages in Morse Code which were felt as vibrations by the deafblind person on the other end. If the deafblind person could voice they could speak back. Reading about the lengths a person who was deafblind went through just to place a simple phone call, made me so thankful for my iPhone and braille display.

In the book he also mentioned that the
<"National Library Service for the Blind and Physically Handicapped">
had 10,000 braille books available for loan.
10,000 books sounds like a lot... at first... But if you really think about it, and compare it to what sighted/hearing people have, it is only a drop in the bucket. If you had special interests, such as growing carnivorous plants, you were basically out of luck. If you were Christian, there were several charities which would provide you with religious material in braille. There is even a Jewish Braille Institute which provided materials, however if you were another religion, you couldn't get any material easily available in braille.

Today we have
<"Bookshare">
which has, at last estimate, over 125,000 books. The content is largely user driven, so if you are interested in a particular title, or area of interest, you can scan books for the collection, or have a friend do it for you. There are books on almost every topic you can think of. There are sacred texts from many different religions from around the world. There are fiction books, cook books, self-help books, and text books for school. If you have a braille display and a computer or smartphone, or a note-taking device specially designed for the blind and deafblind, you can read. What's more, you can keep the books you like. Braille is three times the size of print. As an example, the first book in the Harry Potter series takes up four volumes in hardcopy braille. I think the book is somewhere in the range of 300 pages.

If I kept every book I loved and wanted to reread or own in hardcopy braille, I would need entire building devoted to housing my book collection. While something like this sounds like the closest thing to heaven on earth, to a bibliophile like myself, it is not financially feasible at this time.

Thanks to technology, I can keep copies of books on a jump drive to be read later. I can keep reference books, and cook books. My braille display weighs 2 pounds whether its hard drive is full of books or not.
Mr. Kinney's book also goes into great detail about the communication methods used by deafblind people during this time period. Although most DB people were using
<"The Rochester Method">
Which was made most famous by Helen Keller and her teacher Annie Sullivan. It is the one-handed American Manual Alphabet-- the same one used today. This book does not discuss the use of ASL or other signed languages at all.

It does discuss the use of morse code and the British Two-Handed Manual Alphabet. This Alphabet is still in use today around the world, by deafblind people from Canada to Scotland. The books gives very detailed descriptions of all three types of communication. I have always wanted to learn the British Two-Handed Manual Alphabet so that I may more easily chat with DB people from other parts of the world. I already know the One-Handed Manual Alphabet but I don't know Morse code and I think it might be interesting to learn so I have it in my "communication tool box."
Although much of the information is out-dated, this book was still a fascinating read. It really brought home to me how blessed I am to be a DB person living in this current time. I have access to information at my fingertips and on demand. I can call a taxi, read a recipe for curry chicken, or place an order for new shoes by myself. I have frequently heard some people say that technology cuts people off from one another. This may be true to some extent. However for a deafblind person, I believe the opposite is true.

Because of Steve

I'm not really one to be interested in the goings-on of celebrities. However there is one person whom most would consider a "celeb" that changed my life. When the smartphone craze started happening, I was largely left out due to my increasing hearing loss. I canceled my contract with Verizon in 2006, because I was no longer able to use the phone. From that period until 2009, I didn't have one. For most people, a cell phone is a nice thing to have. However for a deafblind person it's a necessity.

I got my first iPhone in 2009. I was able to place relay calls, use GPS, text, and use many other apps right from my phone. For a person who can see and hear, this isn't probably such a big deal. You can read street signs, use a pay phone, if you had to, or read the ingredients on a box of crackers. I can do all of these things with my iPhone.
It has literally opened up an entirely new world for me, and many other deafblind people. It levels the communication playing field and gives us equal access to information which is something we have never experienced. My life-changing ability to have this device which supports braille displays and third-party applications is a large result of the work of Steve Jobs. No matter what you may think of Apple, or its products, or of Mr. Jobs personally, it cannot be disputed that he has changed lives. He has changed my life.

My sincerest condolences go out to his family and friends. They have lost more than just an innovative thinker-- they have lost a husband, a father, a friend. Steve will very much be missed.

Thank you, Steve for everything. Rest in peace.

Love Letter To A Puppy

When you were new, your paws so soft, and untried.
Your toenails miniscule, and me afraid to cut them.
I carry you from room to room, with your head tucked under my chin-- feeling your sweet puppy breaths on my neck.
You are sleeping-- your head in the crook of my elbow, your tail draped over my wrist.
I watch you breathe, and for a little while I know what it is like to feel complete.

Days pass, weeks pass, and you shoot upward.
Your long legs have not learned the art of moving in concert.
I watch as you stumble, fall, and rise again.
We lengthen your collar, and shorten your leash.
I stand with you balanced on my hip-- now your head is above mine.

Yet more, outward, upward, ever changing, moving on, learning more.
I think if I just held still, and didn't blink, I could watch you growing-- see your brain expanding with each new experience.
A year from now, you'll be someone's eyes.
You will stand between him and the very big world
with cars, and shards of glass, and angry people all around you.
This is your purpose, this is the plan.
But as you sleep next to me, curled into a ball of striped legs and ears, and that very long tail, I watch you dream.
The selfish part, that protective part of myself which I didn't even know I had until you came along, wishes that you could stay a puppy forever.
I wish that I could still carry you in the crook of my elbow, and feel your soft paws on my face.
When I was young, they told me that growing up was over-rated. I never understood what they meant until today.

A Final Act of Service

A guide dog has many jobs. Stopping at changes of elevation, taking its handler around partial or total barricades on the path of travel, and finding entrances and exits are the most familiar jobs that guide dogs are asked to perform. However there is another task-- one that we don't really think about much. That job is to pull the handler out of the path of on-coming traffic, either by pulling their person back, or getting in front of them and body blocking them. This part of being a guide dog has cost many dogs their lives. Yesterday it happened again.

Our friend has been hospitalized with broken bones and is recovering from surgery. His dog-- who saved his life-- was euthanized because her injuries were too severe, and the only thing that could be done was to end her suffering.

I can't even describe my feelings when I heard this news. Shock, quickly followed by horror and sadness. And the knowledge that my dog, who is currently sleeping next to me on my pillow could be asked, one day, to pay this final price.

I will hold all of mine extra close tonight and will remember the ones we have lost.

I would also ask my sighted readers who drive to pay attention. When you make the choice to get behind the wheel of your car, you are taking on a huge responsibility. This responsibility means that you need to pay attention when you are on the road. Using the phone or flipping through your stack of CDs for "just one second" could end up costing someone their life. Pay attention!

... and hug your dogs tonight, and if you have any extra juju, or energy, send some to a friend who was the victim of someone's random act of carelessness, and who is grieving the loss of his partner.

She's Too Purdy!

I arrived home from Massachusetts on Saturday. I was actually supposed to arrive home Friday night, but that is another tail for another day. Suffice it to say that the plane I was scheduled to take out of Albany couldn't fly out, so the airlines put me up in a hotel for the night.

In my experience, airport personnel are, by and large, the most ignorant people when it comes to knowing the laws which apply to assistance animals and their handlers. The problem is, that most of these people don't believe that they are ignorant-- on the contrary, they tend to misquote the law to me at least once every trip, and when I argue with them and tell them to point out the applicable section of the law to me, they get miffed and can become downright nasty. This trip was sadly no exception.

Saturday morning, I showed up to the Albany airport, bright and early. Laveau was with me, naturally. We made our way to the counter so I could check my luggage, when the woman behind the counter demanded "certification" for my dog. The Air Carrier Access Act (ACAA) is the law which gives persons with disabilities the right to travel on aircraft in the United States with assistance animals. Certification is not required. In fact the law states that if the dog is wearing an identifying harness or vest, or if the handler gives "credible verbal assurance" that certification shouldn't be an issue. Laveau was wearing both harness and vest. She walked me up to the counter and was obviously guiding me. But this lady wants certification. So I very politely inform her that certification is not necessary as a condition of access. And then she says that my dog's harness is different than most dogs and it looks "too pretty" so she must not be a guide dog.

Juuuuuust when I thought I'd heard everything, some moron comes along, and opens their mouth thereby proving that the horizons of idiocy are boundless. I inform this woman that the ACAA does not define what equipment an assistance dog may wear. That would be like your car insurance carrier telling you which color of car you may own. Laveau's harness is zebra striped, black and white. Her cape is purple with zebra striped trim and large letters which say "PAWPOWER SERVICE DOG." So we've got the "identifying harness and vest" section of the law covered, no?

I tell this lady that my dog's gear is of no concern to her and that yes she is an assistance dog. The lady then says "So are you blind, or what?" I wanted to reply with "or what?" But I held my tongue and informed her, ever so kindly, that it is not required by law for me to disclose the nature of my particular disability/s. I will gladly tell anyone the tasks my dog performs which mitigate my disability/s but my disability/s are my own and they are personal. This person had not obviously read the law. I told her what tasks Laveau performs which mitigate my disability/s and went on my way with my dog in her pretty gear.

Then I got selected for a random search and the TSA agent managed to turn my carefully packed and organized bag into a jumble of stuff in under two minutes. Now I remember why I stick to riding the train!
With idiotic airport staff aside, it was a wonderful trip and Laveau had so much fun, and played so hard, that she slept for two days once we got home.

Rocket Rox!

Laveau and I made it to Massachusetts without incident. On Saturday morning, we went to a garlic festival held in Vermont. It was really neat. There were many different tables set up and you could try all kinds of different things with garlic in them. We had garlic cheeses and dips, garlic mustard and pesto, salsas, and infused oils. I ended up buying a few things to bring home. We also got an order of fried garlic cloves and fried pickles to share. It was a lot of fun.

Yesterday we stayed around home in the morning, but in the afternoon we drove to Saratoga Springs, New York with our friend Lynn. We went to an Irish pub for dinner and I had some lovely Irish cider with my dinner. After we had eaten, we went to the Saratoga Performing Arts Center to see Elton John in concert.

I would like to publicly thank John Huff and Kevin Appler of the Saratoga Performing Arts Center and Live Nation tours for finding me two very skilled tactile ASL interpreters for the show. The entire staff at the SPAC were very professional and courteous, and they helped make this evening an unforgettable time for me.

We were supposed to sit on the lawn, but we were moved to an area directly in front of the stage so we could be close to the interpreters. My two interpreters were really great and we spent time chatting before the show.

The opening act were cellos, and apparently they played popular music by Michael Jackson and Guns and Roses. My friends said it was quite odd.

Elton then came on and he was wearing a suit with roses embroidered on the sleeves and across the back. The pinstripes on his pants were diamonds.

He had a full band and a chorus. I couldn't really hear much at all. His piano was a full grand, and I could feel it in my chest when he played it. My interpreters were great at describing his playing. At one point he was sitting on his piano and playing it, another time he sat on the bench like you'd sit a horse.

He played many old favorites-- Daniel, Benny and the Jets, and Your song to name a few. My favorite by far was Rocket Man. We all stood up and were dancing. My interpreter had her hands up over our heads for the rockets and we were basically doing an ASL dance. The energy in the room at that moment was really amazing. He also played Crocodile Rock and that is very fun in ASL.

Elton walked through the audience shaking hands and making autographs. My interpreter got his autograph for me which is so exciting! It is my first ever autograph.

Laveau and my friend's dog, Yancy, both did really well. Laveau laid with my friends Lynn and Nancy because it was more out of the way. I had to sit facing my interpreters and there was not a place for her where she wasn't in the way, so I sent her back to lay with them and she did fine.

Before the concert started, we got a great deal of rain, complete with thunder and lightning. I was glad we weren't sitting on the lawn, let me tell you! The drive home was quiet; we stopped for caffeine and doughnuts and for the first time ever, Laveau slept in the car she was so tired.

We got home around two in the morning and I went right to bed and slept until eleven. I am still tired believe it or not! Tonight my friend's husband is making his special lamb recipe. It is my favorite ever lamb dish, and I am looking forward to it. Her husband is a very skilled cook and we have had everything from blackberry pancakes to hot wings.

Today we are going to just relax around the house. It is rainy and gray outside and we could all use a day of chillaxing. I think there will be Scrabble and Uno games later in the day.

Happy Labor Day y'all!

Celebrating the Orange Dog

Eight years ago today, the orange dog became a part of our pack. We celebrated this momentous occasion with giant perfect bones from the butchers. I thought I'd celebrate her anniversary on the blog by doing
Eight factoids about Mill'E-Max
1. Her name is actually Miele (said like me ay lay). It is italian for honey, since she is kind of that same color.
2. When she was a puppy she ate an entire pealed grapefruit, and a bag of Twizzlers. To this day she will beg like crazy if she sees me eating either one of those things.
3. Mill'E-Max has been on two cruises with me and has been to Mexico, Grand Caiman and Jamaica.
4. She can, and has retrieved something the size of a small pill, and as large as a gallon of milk. She has also retrieved my hearing aid several times without even getting it wet.
5. She loves helping with laundry. Emptying the dryer is her favorite job, and after she is done, she enjoys crawling into the warm dryer and taking a nap.
6. She talks more than any other dog I've ever had. She enjoys having conversations, and if I grrr, grrr, grrrr! at her she will do it right back. I can't hear it any more but I can feel it. She really likes wrapping paper tubes because they amplify her grrr! She has been known, on multiple occasions to spend minutes at a time parading through the house with said tube listening to herself gggrrrrrr! It is not a "I'm going to bite you grrr, it is a talking sound and I will have to make a recording of it.
7. She knows how to lead other dogs around by holding the leash in her mouth. I have trained her to go find Bristol and bring her back to me via a traffic lead attach to Bristol's collar.
8. It is one of her "jobs" to wake me up in the morning. She will at first lay on me and lick my face. If this does not work, she will resort to removal of pillows and blankets. She also will lay on her side and literally use her four feet to push me out of bed if I continue to resist. She does not have a snooze button, most unfortunately.

Happy eight years together Mill'E-Max Weatherwax! May we be so lucky to have at least eight more.






That'll Do
Lyrics by Randy Newman

A kind and steady heart
can make a grey sky blue;
And a task that seems impossible
is quite possible for you.
A kind and steady heart
is sure to see you through.
It may not seem like very much right now but it'll do, it'll do.

When you find yourself in the middle of a storm
And you're tired and cold and wet,
And you're looking for a place that's cozy and warm
You'll make it if you never forget:

A kind and steady heart
can conquer doubt and fear.
A little courage goes a long long way,
Gets you little bit further down the road each day,
And before you know it
you'll here someone say:
That'll do, Babe, that'll do.

A kind and steady heart
is sure to see you through.
A little courage goes a long, long way,
Gets you little bit further down the road each day,
And before you know it you'll hear someone say:
That'll do, that'll do,
That'll do, Babe, that'll do.

Preparing to vacate!

Things have been very busy in Pawpower Land. Tomorrow I am traveling to Massachusetts to visit some friends whom I have not seen in many years. This, of course, necessitates all of those fun pre-trip activities such as laundry, packing, and shopping for goodies. Being from New Orleans means that you are obligated, by an as yet undiscovered law of the universe, to come with baggage loaded down with everything from pralines to olive salad. Shopping for goodies is one of my favorite pre-trip activities. I like trying to pick out what I think people will like.

I am still in the "laundry" portion of things, and I have prudently purchased very large bones from the butchers so that I may effectively keep all of the dogs out of my suitcase while I'm trying to pack. I am hoping that the dogs will be occupied with the bones long enough to get all of my packing finished and the suitcase stowed in a corner.

We have several activities planned for my time in New England. There is a garlic festival on Saturday, where we get to sample the wide variety of gustatory delights all containing that most magical of all botanicals-- garlic! I am told they even have garlic ice-cream. On Sunday we are traveling to Saratoga, New York to see Elton John in concert. I think I have interpreters for this event. My parents were very fond of his music, so I was exposed to quite a lot of his stuff while growing up. I am super excited to go! The venue is outside and it sounds lovely. We are hoping to go to my favorite diner in Vermont for the obligatory Cajun Omelet. Funny that my favorite Cajun dish is prepared in Vermont! We are also going to the mall and just spending time chillaxing and playing with dogs.

One of my friends has three dogs-- a working guide, a retired guide and a pet golden. My other friend has a working guide. Laveau will not lack for companionship, that's for sure!

Tomorrow my SSP is picking me up to do the afore-mentioned goodie shopping and to go to the airport. I leave around 4 in the afternoon so I can go to work for a little while in the morning which will be nice.

I hope all of my readers have a wonderful and safe Labor Day.

I want to be like Durga!

Durga is a Hindu Goddess frequently pictured with eighteen arms. As a Deafblind person, I frequently feel like I should be given more arms than a sighted/hearing person. I'll give you a prime example.

Last week I needed to re-certify for CPR and first aid at work. It was a six hour class for which I had two tactile ASL interpreters. Yes, my arms were really, really stiff after it was all over. The CPR instructor played a video which described the CPR procedures and the members of the class were supposed to "practice" along with the video. We were given a dummy to practice with and the video began. Only how do I "watch" my interpreters interpreting the video and perform CPR on the dummy at the same time. Also the entire thing became so ridiculous that both of my interpreters, and myself could not stop laughing.

I "watched" the video, and then began my work on the dummy. One interpreter tapped me on the arm to mark chest compression, and the other breathed on me to indicate when it was time to give rescue breaths, otherwise known as mouth-to-mouth.

I really could have used some extra arms then, that's for sure. So if anyone has connections with Durga, please kindly ask her to lend me some of her arms!

Dogpark Picspam!

Because I still don't know how to put them in here directly you have to go to
<"My FlickR page">
Enjoy!

Edit: We may have figured out how to insert photos directly into the posts..see below.

Bayou Barkers; Laveau rolling in the grass, covered in mud; Baylee chilling in the grass.

Hands

When folks think about someone who is deaf and blind, most people's immediate response would be to think about how much that individual is missing. They can't see, they can't hear, so what else is there?
...

There are hands. I have never realized how widely people's hands differ from one another until I became deafblind. One of my interpreters has large hands. He has a chunky ring on his left ring finger. It has engravings on it and I think it is beautiful. His hands move confidently, sketching the words in the air. I would know him anywhere by those hands.

My friend has small hands. They are the hands of an older woman-- hands which have seen many years. They are graceful and gentle. They flutter softly against my own, but will then suddenly become emphatic. She tells funny stories with her hands-- has given me so much encouragement with her beautiful old hands.

I talked to a man who had more hair on his hands than most men have on their faces. I felt like I was having a conversation with Bilbo Baggins because of all the hair. For years I couldn't remember his name. I continued to think of him as "Bilbo."

Her hands are long and slender. She usually does musical interpretation for me. She is the song made flesh. She brings the music to me once again through her hands.

I never knew I could learn so much about a person by their hands. Their mood, their body type, their taste in jewelry,or fancy nail polish. I met a lady once who had a ring on every finger. Talking to her was very distracting. I imagine it's the same for a hearing person with food in their mouth, only less gross!

Hands guide, they communicate and teach. They read and answer questions. When I became deafblind, it never occurred to me how hands would open my world.

The Three Things

I've been thinking back over my life, and how I have become the person I am today. What things have influenced my life the most? What were the choices I've made which improved my life and overall well-being? And I came up with three things that I think have made me who I am today and which have changed the way I see myself, and the way others see, and interact with me, and how I look at the world. I can't put them in order of importance because to me, it is my independence and my life rests on these three things equally. So in no particular order...
1. Partnering with an assistance dog.
When my only disability was blindness, having a guide dog was nice, and it made traveling easier and much more pleasant, but it wasn't a necessity. Now that I'm deaf and blind, and have a balance and vestibular disorder, my dog is literally my independence. She guides me around obstacles, retrieves items I drop, leads me out of buildings when the fire alarm is activated, gets my medications when I literally can't move from vertigo. She stands between me and moving vehicles. She helps me up when I fall, and lets me know when to wake up in the morning. She is my eyes, ears, hands and vestibular system. It would be extremely difficult to be without her.

2. Learning Braille.
It may surprise you to learn how few blind people learn or use braille. I didn't until I was an older adult and started having trouble with my hearing. Today I use braille for everything. To interact with my computer, and my cell phone. I can read books, keep informed about the news, look up phone numbers, make relay calls, use a GPS, read and respond to emails, and label the poisons herbs in my herb cupboard. I am able to interact with the written word in a hands-on way. Because of the marvels of modern technology, I am able to do use a computer and a phone because I can read braille. Computers and smart phones open up so many doors to people, and level the information playing-field.

3. Learning American Sign Language.
When A blind person loses their hearing, it is so catastrophic. For so long I was isolated. I lived in uncertainty and outright fear. It wasn't even the social aspects which had me so upset, but how could I go to doctors, manage my own shopping, or go to meetings at work if I couldn't hear or see? I qualify for a cochlear implant, but for many reasons it is not an option I'll take. I didn't want to be "fixed." I wanted to be independent. And yes, I wanted to have a social life. I will be forever grateful to the strong Deaf and Deafblind role-models in my life. I am thankful for their patience, for taking me to Deaf and Deafblind events, for helping me, for encouraging me. I am thankful for a fantastic teacher who manages to challenge me while making me laugh. I am thankful to all of the SSPs I've ever had, both in New Orleans and at Deafblind conferences and camps around the country. I am thankful for the gift of language which allows me to make independent medical decisions, to have informed choice when I shop, and which allows me to participate in company meetings and training sessions on an equal footing with my hearing coworkers.
I can honestly say, without those three things I'd be a totally different person than I am today. And with all of that navel gazing out of the way, I think I'll go read a book with my dog!

Sausage Wrangler extraordinaire

Yesterday was Mister Pawpower's turn to make groceries. He was bringing in the bags when one of them burst. Naturally it was individually wrapped chubs of sausage which landed, and because my floor is old, and slanted, they rolled everywhere.
All of the dogs were out in the yard, and I decided to put the rest of the groceries away and then let Mill'E-Max in for her to deal with the sausages. And that is what I did.

I let the dogs in and immediately Mill'E-Max went to work, bringing back little chubs of sausage which had rolled behind my table and some chairs. She didn't even break the package with her teeth! I am super proud of her! It also makes me realize how much I depend upon her every day, and how thankful I am that I can have such a fantastic helper.

Today I'm going shopping with my SSP because my old faithful backpack is about to die,. Backpack shopping is a huge deal for me. I keep my life on my back! It has to be waterproof (because I live in the swamp, after-all), and comfortable, and hopefully purple! Because everything I own (almost) is purple, or it has zebra stripes.

As you can see, that's a tall order. Which means a lot of browsing through various stores (which I hate), in search of the perfect waterproof, comfortable, multi-pocketed, and hopefully purple with zebra stripes, backpack of my dreams! My SSP may just kill me before it's over.

Actually, for that matter, I hope Laveau doesn't kill me. She hates waiting patiently for me to look at item after item. But then again, she's enough of a show-off that working in crowded stores and malls is her favorite. And there will be so much to watch! She may not kill me after all.

Post-Prandial pondering

We had dinner, it was yummy, but so, so hot!
And while eating, I thought I wondered if I could teach myself to put pictures in blog posts themselves, so this is my attempt. Obviously, I won't be able to tell if this works or not, thus your input is appreciated!

Thos should be two different pictures of a much younger Bristol at her first Barkus (dog Mardi Gras Parade), in 2004. She's dressed as a sun flower with beads around her neck. In one of the pics she is holding a can of Coke in her mouth.

The Tail of the Funny Onion, and other randomness!

I stayed home quite a bit this week because of vestibular shenanigans. This made lots of time for book-reading (Yay George R. R. Martin for writing such long juicy books) and cooking (chicken salad to die for) and dog wrangling.
Yesterday morning all of Laveau's tennis balls had gone missing. Laveau's very favorite toy is the tennis ball and this was a crisis of mammoth proportions! Laveau searched and searched, but nothing-doing. Eventually she decided that if the tennis balls weren't to be found that she needed a substitute. She did not pick any of the numerous other toys we have, oh no. Instead, she picked ....

AN ONION!!!!

I'll grant you, it was a tennis-ball sized onion, but that's where the resemblance stopped. Onions, unlike tennis balls, do not bounce, and I'd imagine the flavor was markedly different! She didn't eat it, just tried to play with it. However the puppy did think to sample the gustatory delight of the onion, and that is where it stopped.

The tennis ball was found in the back yard, and the onion was tossed into the trash.

It has been very, very hot so we haven't walked much at all. Instead we've been playing games of ball and tug inside. I am really ready for October!

Mister Pawpower moved Baylee's blog due to some accessibility issues. You can now read it
<"Here">
There will be new content up soon!

As for the other dogs, they are all good. Laveau is now officially in charge of tiring the puppy out enough so that we can get other activities/training done. Laveau is really good at this new job, like she is good at everything else! Bristol is still pretending Baylee doesn't exist, but has been pretty full of piss and vinegar these last few days, wanting to play tug and in the middle of everything. It's good to see. Mill'E-Max is my big helper, as usual. Today I dropped a glucosamine pill of hers, and I asked her to pick it up and hand it to me so I could put cream cheese on it, because she won't swallow it any other way. So she did that, and was very pleased with herself.
Whoop, the puppy is awake! My blogging time is over for today! :)

Puppy Prattle

We've been ultra busy here in Pawpower land.  If we're not playing with the puppy, training with the puppy, or taking the puppy out to do her business, we are usually dead asleep! Having Baylee in my life really shows me how much maturing Laveau has done. I adopted her as this young, eager, slightly nervous dog. I sometimes forget that she's really a grown-up now.

On Saturday we took the pack to the dog park. Well OK, Mill'E-Max stayed behind because there wasn't enough room! Bristol and Laveau were off-leash and Baylee was on a long line. We didn't actually see any dogs while we were there, surprisingly. Laveau thought it was funny to run with Baylee and keep on for about five feet passed where Baylee's leash ended. Then Laveau would stop, turn around and taunt Baylee. It was like doggie keep-away. Bristol is still ignoring Baylee so she spent her dog park time checking her Pee-Mail and sending numerous replies.

Mister Pawpower has made Baylee's first "in training" cape. I'm getting it embroidered this week. Only a dog nerd like me would find this super exciting! And OMG her cape is so cute! and tiny! And I imagine that one day, when Baylee is all grown up that we will look at this tiny cape and marvel that Baylee was ever that small.

My dogs are all very vocal when they play. They sound like they are tearing each other's head off, but really it's just fun. Today, Baylee has discovered that she can also make noise-- a lot of noise! I can hear it!
I have a raging ear infection from wearing my hearing aid too much. These infections also produce an increase in vertigo symptoms. This results in a lack of balance, and the inability to distinguish direction. Today, while on the way to meet my ASL teacher, I crossed a small road a block from the coffee shop. It felt to me, like Mill'E-Max had crossed the road on a right diagonal. When we got to the curb, I told her to go left. What I didn't know was that Mill'E-Max had actually crossed straight, and by asking her to turn left, I was asking her to take me directly into on-coming traffic. Because I can't hear, I didn't register this fact. Thankfully, she body-blocked me and pushed me back. Thereby telling me that I needed to think again, and take a closer look at my environment. I finally figured out where I was and she carried on. It's experiences like this which make me so grateful for my dogs and their willingness to have such a crazy partner who is deaf, blind, and with a really crappy vestibular system. I can say for a certainty that I would not be anywhere as independent without a dog.
So Mill'E-Max gets extra praise, treats and love today for being an awesome dog!

Fun with Puppy

I finally have Baylee pics! But I am a super blog moron and do not know how to put them in my post itself, so go
<"here">
to see 'em!
Baylee also has a
<"Blog of her own!">

Things have been interesting around here. And by "interesting" I mean exhausting, fun, and educational all at once!
On Tuesday, Baylee went to the eyevet so he could examine her eyes to make sure she doesn't have impaired vision. We can't have the blind leading the blind after all!
Thankfully Baylee did great at the eyevets, and so did Bristol!
Today we went for a walk and poor Laveau was the one left at home. Mister Pawpower took Baylee, while I took Bristol and Mill'E-Max guided. We went into the pet-friendly little mini-mart and then walked up to the doughnut shop. I stayed outside with the girls while Mister Pawpower went in with his cane to get doughnuts. Now we are home and the dogs have had a crazy play session, so it's nap time for them! I'm jealous!

Bayou Baylee

Today we met Baylee, a Boxer Lab cross. She is five months old, black and gold (because she cheers for the Saints!) and is seriously adorable. She loves to explore new things, isn't afraid of much, and loves everyone; dogs and people alike.
She is Mr. Pawpower's new guide dog in training! I'm trying to get her in with Bristol at the Eyevet tomorrow for a prelim exam and then she'll see our regular vet on Thursday once her records are shipped over.

The other dogs like her pretty well, although Laveau is not happy about her crate getting taken over by the striped upstart!
I need to get her a small service vest or have Mr. Pawpower make her one. The serious guide part of her training won't start for many months but we look forward to obedience training and fun socializing with her.
I am going to try to get pictures tomorrow when I'm with sighted people who know where to point the camera!

WAGS!

Would you like me to open that, Sir?

Mill'E-Max is the brains of the household; paws down. She taught herself to unscrew the caps off of bottles about six years ago. Mister Pawpower really likes wine, but I prefer beer. So he found these small bottles of wine which were only one serving. We were in a post-Katrina house at the time, which didn't have much furniture. Mr. Pawpower sat on the floor-- bottle in hand-- and became distracted by the phone. Mill'E-Max picked up the bottle and started manipulating it. She figured out that she could unscrew the bottle with her back teeth. Mister Pawpower ended his phone conversation just in time to see Mill'E-Max tilting her head to the side, while the now cap-less bottle was tipped with her forepaws aimed right for her mouth. I am not kidding.

Ever since then, Mill'E-Max will take any chance she gets to screw the lids off of bottles. She won't pick them up at random, but if I direct her to pick it up, she then thinks of it as "her bottle." And if i set her bottle down on the floor or a chair or the bed, She will then begin the task of unscrewing the lid.
Today I asked for a water in the fridge. She brought it, and gave it to me. I set it down on the bed to go play tug with Bristol, and three minutes later, I find her on the bed, front paws wrapped around the bottle, back teeth clenched on the lid, and a shit-eating grin on her face, as well as a wagging tail and that set to her ears which meant she was thinking. She had been sitting there, waiting for me to notice that she had the bottle. I did get it away from her before the first turn of the lid.

If anyone ever tells you that dogs don't have senses of humor, don't listen. Or I'll set Mill'E-Max on you!

An Even Dozen

Today is Bristol's and my twelfth anniversary as a guide dog team. Ok, she's retired, but she is still my partner. I've been thinking quite a bit about everything we've done together, and it is really amazing that one little dog can have such a big impact on a person's life. I got Bristol six days after losing my first dog, Rhoda, to lymphoma at age 3 and a half. To be honest, when I first met her, I couldn't imagine myself ever meshing well with this goofy and very demonstrative little red dog. I was used to Rhoda's aloof mannerisms and high-drive nature.

Our first year together was mostly about me getting over the loss of Rhoda, and trying to figure out what, exactly was wrong with Bristol. If she wasn't having ear infections, her skin was infected. If she wasn't vomiting-- usually in public-- she was having diarrhea, thankfully always in the grass! It was scary and frustrating. Some how, in the midst of all of the sadness and fear for her health, I handed my total trust and my heart over to her, and we've never looked back since.
I couldn't even begin to describe all of the places we've gone together, the changes she has brought to my life, and the deep bond we share. So to take a leaf from two of my favorite bloggers, Brook and Jess, I give you....
Twelve Facts About Bristol:

1. She only weighed 37 lbs and was 16.5 inches tall when I got her from the guide dog program.
2. Bristol was supposed to be a breeder dog for said guide dog program, but thankfully didn't pass the tests for breeders!
3. Bristol's favorite treat is jelly beans. Because of her tendency toward yeast, she can't have many, but she had some today!
4. Bristol has ridden in a boat, a horse-drawn carriage, airplanes, trains, buses, and streetcars. But her favorite form of transportation remains the gulf carts at the airport.
5. Bristol loves to swim. She will swim for an hour or more if you let her.
6. Bristol has helped with the training of at least 5 other guide dogs.
7. Bristol used to go deer hunting with me, and when we shot one, she would try and drag the entire carcass back to the truck by the leg. Needless to say, that wasn't happening.

8. When I first introduced Bristol to raw meaty bones and organ meats, she hated them and went on a hunger strike. Now she eats them with gusto-- even the liver!
9. Bristol is largely deaf now and apparently her bark has changed since she can no longer hear herself barking. She now has a Deaf Accent!
10. Bristol's favorite game is tug of war, and she will win almost every time because she never gives up!.
11. Bristol gave me away at my wedding but my honeymoon cruise was the first time I ever left her behind; I took Mill'E-Max instead. I had to call my friend who was watching her when I made port in Jamaica just to make sure she was alright.
12. Whenever we get new dog gear, Bristol has to be the one to try it on first. She stacks herself and grunts at the person holding the new harness, leash, or vest until they put it on her and let her parade around wearing it. And of course all of the people have to mention, frequently and loudly, how beautiful they think she is wearing the new gear.


I honestly don't know if we'll make it to thirteen years. So today we will celebrate enough for a long time, and then live each day as if it were the only one we had.
Thank you Bristol, for everything. You are the very best!


He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds;
my other ears that hear above the winds.
He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea.

He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason
for being

by the way he rests against my leg;
by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile;
by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him.
(I think it makes him sick with worry when he is not
along to care for me.)

When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive.
When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile.
When I am happy, he is joy unbounded.

When I am a fool, he ignores it.
When I succeed, he brags.

Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful.

He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion.

With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace.
He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant.

His head on my knee can heal my human hurts.
His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and
unknown things.

He has promised to wait for me...whenever...wherever--
in case I need him.
And I expect I will--as I always have.

He is just my dog.
-- Gene Hill

Access rights; they're not just for people anymore!

Hello people! This is Bristol and I've decided that it is well time I put my paw to paper and write on this blog.
I know that the "Big Bitch" comes in here to write about access and stuff, so in order not to disrupt her flow; I'll stick to this topic.

Did you know that dogs have access challenges too? Not just the kind where you are in the harness and working and some no brained idiot doesn't want to let me into their store, either! You see, dear reader, I am getting older. Like fine wine, I improve with age, but some parts of me just don't work as well as they could. This means that sometimes I have trouble going down steps or on to high places.

So my Uncle Kelly, who is very smart and handy, built me a set of steps to help me get up on the human bed. I like the human bed for snuggle time but the new bed is just too tall for me to jump onto, so Uncle Kelly made me steps. I love them very much, but there is just one problem.

Certain Dobermans and dogs of an orange hue keep laying on the part of the bed next to the steps! Because these dogs refuse to move, I cannot use the steps to get on to the bed! Sometimes The Big Bitch and Bigpops will lift me on to the bed, using the "elevator," but this is not what I want. I need to wait for the people to leave what they are doing to "elevate" me. Whereas, if I use the steps, I can get on and off the bed when ever I want. Laveau and Mill'E-Max are therefore, blocking my access to a place of public accommodation! Well not really public, but it's as close as I can come!

I think us old dogs need to form a PAC; draft a law laying out our access rights! Like, other dogs cannot block the steps on to the bed! We may be able to tack some "Pork Barrel" into this legislation which dictates an increase in our food amounts. I don't know about y'all, but I could use a barrel of pork!


Any other Senior Citizens want to join me?
Wags&Licks®,
Bristol

Uhh, that's not in the brochure!

I'm talking about the brochures put out by the service dog programs. They don't talk about the "real live" stuff of having a service dog. I mean; it's all about "freedom" and "independence", but they don't tell you about the moments (hopefully few and far between) which make you want to crawl under a rug and hide. Moments like I had today... When Laveau, with neither rhyme nor reason vomited in spectacular fashion during my beginning braille class.

Whoops, I should have put a food warning on this. Oh well; I've never been one for rules and lord knows us dog people talk about it without a second thought... So anyway; where was I? Oh yes-- vomit.

See the thing is, all of my dogs have done the deed in public, and I'm kind of an old hand at this. Mill'E and Bristol both are Theatrical Pukers. They had to go through all the motions, gag, heave, etc. It was a huge production. Which, although embarrassing, gave me ample warning of the impending gastric onslaught. I got really good at rushing my dog/s outside, or to a garbage can.
The difference is that Laveau is not a Theatrical Puker; she's one of those rare breeds-- the Stealth Puker®. I swear, one moment she'll be fine, and the next she's just horked her breakfast onto her toes. It's like that song, "Whoop, there it is!" So I was mid-way through my class when I smelled it, and selfishly wanted to hide under the rug.

I am an expert cleaner of these kinds of messes, so I quickly got back to teaching. Laveau is fine; she does this once a year or so-- will just sort of throw up (usually in public) and just be fine.

And can I just say that it will continue to amaze me when people are shocked to see my dog throwing up. One lady once said "I thought they were trained not to do that."

So yes, surprisingly enough, Service Dogs; being that they are *dogs* do all that unpleasant stuff just as we do. And you can train a dog to do many wonderful and helpful things, but they are still dogs and puke happens.

Maybe I'll print up hats for service dog handlers that say "Puke Happens." And when you are cleaning up the mess in the middle of a Wal*Mart, you can put the hat on your head and give people something else to stare at.



Bristol has been quite playful today. She really loves this squeaker chicken I bought for her in Virginia. Isn't that the way it is though-- you spend all this money on expensive toys, and it's the cheap ones you pick up without a thought that they really love.

And just not to leave her out, Mill'E-Max decided that when I asked her to hold Laveau's leash for a second, I really meant that I wanted her to take Laveau for a walk. So Mill'E-Max trotted away-- leash in mouth-- and behind her, there is Laveau, being haplessly led along by a very exuberant Mill'E-Max who thought this was brilliant.

I love dogs!

Observing the Observers

I find it interesting to watch people who are watching Laveau working. People seem to love to interpret her various movements and facial expressions. Most of the time they are wrong about what she is doing, but it's interesting none the less.

One of the main emotions people say Laveau displays frequently is fearfulness. If she backs me away from a car, people are more apt to assume she is afraid, not that she's protecting me from a large vehicle I can neither see nor hear. The same reaction is seen when Laveau approaches steps or uneven surfaces. She will stop, put her body in front of me, and then advance with caution if I cue her. Once again this is seen as fearful. People tend not to realize that she is being very careful with me because I have terrible balance, and have been known-- on more than one occasion-- to just randomly fall over and then not be able to get up without a huge production.

I frequently wonder why so many people have this assumption of "fear" on the dog's part? Is it because that is what they are used to from their pet dogs? Does Laveau really look fearful. Or are people just not used to seeing a dog take control of a situation and make a deliberate decision?
Laveau is very sensitive, and does not like it when I fall, so has learned to be very cautious and careful, and to not listen too me without a keen observation of the environment, because for me, the world is not holding still and I am clueless as to which end is up. But she is not "afraid" of cars, nor steps in and of themselves.

I think it would be very interesting to let a sighted/hearing person with normal balance take her for a walk on leash, and see what she does. Mister Pawpower has worked her several times and once she figured out Mister Pawpower wasn't such a stumbling klutz with crappy balance, she was not nearly so protective and watchful with him. Not that she is unsafe, but I would say that the level of watchfulness Laveau displays with me is abnormally high for most guide dogs. However when she is with him, she's pretty average in watchfulness.

I'm very thankful that Laveau is so watchful. she is never allowed to retire!

Tech? No!

I wanted to blog a bit about technology, and describe what kinds of technology are out there for Deafblind People.

The word Deafblindness is a broad term. It can mean someone who is hard of hearing, with low vision to a person who is profoundly deaf and totally blind. most deafblind people have a bit of sight, or a bit of hearing, or a bit of both. I, for example have a small bit of sight, but not enough to use for reading print, or signed conversations. I use braille and ASL tactually. I can also hear a bit but can only hear speech in quiet settings. If I am going to listen to audio long term, I plug a device called a streamer into my computer or iPod, and it links it directly with my hearing aid-- eliminating background noise and cranking up the volume. Since there are so many different combinations of "deafblindness" what works for one won't work for all.

I use a Macbook with a braille display. The display runs off of USB, and is "twenty cells" long which means that it displays twenty characters or spaces at a time. There is a program called Voice over which will either speak what is on the screen, or will translate it into braille to be read on my display.

I also use an iPhone with a braille display. I learned to operate the iPhone using the touch screen and various gestures. The iPhone has opened up new worlds for me. Until I got an iPhone, I couldn't make phone-calls independently when away from my computer. I use relay to make calls. I use AOL Instant messenger to connect with relay operators who call the number I want. They type in what the other party is saying. I read the conversation on my screen, and type back my answer. The relay operator then reads my answer back to the hearing person. It is a newer version of the TTY. But I could only use this on my computer. Until I got an iPhone and downloaded an application for AOL Instant Messenger and could now make phone calls to anyone, from anywhere.

This meant that I could call a cab for myself, when out doing the shopping. It meant that I could call the pharmacy to get refills for my meds while I was on the buss. It meant real independence. The iPhone has many other apps. I can identify money, the color of a shirt, the label on a can, and get hurricane warnings all on my iPhone. I can also do texting, which opens up a huge new world of communication possibilities for friends and family. I can also use GPS.

On Friday I took a buss from my office to the grocery store, I got on, paid my money, and opened up my iPhone and braille display. I started my GPS app, and it began naming the streets we were crossing, as well as the street addresses. I had told the driver where I was going when I got on, and also that I was deafblind and could she tap my leg when we got to my stop? But by watching the addresses move by on my braille display, I could know if we were coming close to my stop, could remind the driver about my stop, and could know when we arrived. This is more information about the environment than most deafblind people have ever had.

I also use a Braille Note. It is a small device-- about the size of a net book-- and is akin to a PDA. I can do things like compose documents, keep an address book, and read trashy romance novels, all on my Braille Note. This unit can also act as a braille display for my iPhone-- using bluetooth, it will reflect what is on my iPhone's screen or the screen of my Mac, when requested to do so. I also use my Braille Note to facilitate face-to-face communication. When going to a store, or an office, I can ask the person with whom I wish to communicate to type their message on my Braille Note's QWERTY keyboard. The message then appears in braille. The unit also has a USB port for a keyboard for use to caption meetings when I can't get an interpreter. The Braille Note can also go on the internet but I don't use this feature much because I find the speeds faster using my iPhone. I can read books from
<"Bookshare">
on there. Bookshare's collection is growing every day, and I can read books on almost any topic using my Braille Note.

There are also programs designed for computers and cell phones, for people who have low vision which make the font larger and the colors contrasting for easier reading. All of the programs I described have speech, so if a person has remaining hearing, they can use that. Whether you prefer Mac, Windows, or Linux, you use a braille display or large print, there is a computer out there which can meet the needs of almost everyone.

Since the iPhone is gaining in use amongst the deafblind population, I would like to start a series of blog entries about apps which are usable by, and helpful for, deafblind people. I will start out with my personal favorites, but would love to hear from any DBP out there who have a particular favorite app!

The Difference Is Her

This post is for the fourth
<"Assistance Dog Blog Carnival">

I really gave quite a bit of thought to the topic. I had several ideas, but then all unbidden-like, this post just sort of came out.
This entry is for Bristol, who is my retired guide dog. We will celebrate twelve years together on July 26th. Although she is retired, she is still my partner.


When I first met her, she was this tiny red ball of fluff with a black shoe-button nose, and brown eyes that shown with mischief and fun. She was so different from my first guide dog who had died suddenly of cancer earlier that month. Bristol was a young female golden retriever, curious about the world, in love with anyone who would pet her, and so demonstrative in her affection. Rhoda, my first dog, had been a food-loving Labrador who was independent and aloof. I soon grew to appreciate the differences about Bristol. She was a calm and focused worker, who wasn't distracted by anything but the occasional squirrel. A huge change from my flighty Rhoda, who lost focus so easily sometimes.
Bristol wasn't a healthy dog; she had several ear and skin infections before I threw my hands in the air; finally trying a raw diet and a natural rearing approach with her. People said I was "just doing it to be different," but it was honestly her last hope. I am so glad I made that leap with her. The changes it brought about in her health and happiness were incredible.

Bristol and I worked together for five years, until degenerative joint disease forced an early retirement. I can't even begin to describe the difference she has made in my life. She has seen me through college, a cross-country move, getting married, getting a new job, losing everything I owned in a hurricane, and then going deaf. She was there through everything.

Adjusting to the different lifestyle of retirement was very hard for both of us. She didn't understand why she couldn't work any more, and I wanted her at my side. The tide had turned, the seasons changed. After years of her taking care of me, I was now taking care of her. It was a different way of relating, but we figured it out together, just like we had done everything else.

She is thirteen and a half years young now. Her hair is white-- her eyes cloudy with cataracts. But if you look closely you can still see the gleam of mischief and curiosity in their depths. That and love-- always love. She has Hypothyroidism, Toxoplasmosis, uveitis, High Blood Pressure, and a back end which is frequently failing her more and more. She has also lost most of her hearing but still manages to know when it's time to eat.

I know she will not be here much longer. I know that soon I will have to let her journey on without me. I think about how different it will be without her-- how lonely and sad. I hold her close to my heart and wonder how I can miss her so much even before she is gone.

Because of the lessons she taught me, I am a totally different person then I was when we first met. I would hope that I'm kinder, and wiser. Heaven knows I'm the richer for having had the privilege of sharing my life, and myself with such a wonderful partner. She has been the difference in my life-- the whirlwind which caught me up in its young exuberance and now, slowing with age, is about to set me down in unfamiliar territory, and it's territory I'll be traveling with out her.

Bristol... again

Yesterday Bristol lost the use of her only good remaining leg. It was very sudden and we aren't sure what is going on but it looks like a pulled muscle or a strain. It could also be a worsening of her degenerative joint issues. Yesterday I talked to my vet who advised giving Bristol extra Previcox. We did that, and it at least allowed her to climb steps by herself, so we did it again today. I spoke to my vet this morning and he prescribed Tramadol to be used as needed.
I came home to a totally different dog. I mean, yesterday she was honestly not able to walk. She was having horrible muscle spasms and it hurt to watch her walk on only two legs. I honestly thought I was going to have to let her go.

When I got home she was up and walking, and coming to say hello. Later I took the new squeaky chicken and was throwing it for Laveau. This is Bristol's new favorite toy, I think because she can hear it. She got up and came over to take it away from Laveau. Then she taunted me with it for a while and we played a very light (because I made it that way) game of tug of war. And yes, she won (wink!) Then Laveau came over and they lay on the floor together wrestling. Then Laveau accidentally knocked her over and I put an end to the playing.

Barb came over with the Tramadol and I let Bristol out to see her because I knew it would cheer her up. And it totally did. Barb said that she's favoring the left leg a little but she is walking on it. We're not sure if she's actually healing or if the meds are just masking her symptoms. We'll pull her off the extra Previcox and add Tramadol to the cocktail and see what it will do for her.

I really struggled with the decision of what to do for Bristol all day yesterday and into today. I don't want her to suffer, but at the same time I don't want to force her to eave before her time. I don't know when that time will be, but she still has such a huge love for life, and if she's willing to fight yet longer, then so am I. We'll do what it takes and then we'll do what is necessary.

This experience is really bringing home that every day is a gift. It's such a Cliche, but really it is. I have always tried to give thanks every day for all of my blessings, but this brings it into a whole new perspective.

I would like to thank everyone for their good thoughts, healing energy, prayers and for all of the support. Yesterday was one of the scariest days of my life and it helped to know that there were people sending us good juju.
I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but for today she is doing better. So I will just be thankful for that and let the future take care of itself.

Taken from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran
Love



Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.

And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

A Team of Three

This is a subject I've been interested in exploring on the blog for a while now. Heaven knows, many people are curious about it. Having multiple working assistance dogs at once-- why would anyone want to do such a thing? How does that work, and does it effect the "bond" with your dog if you have more than one? These are some of the questions I get asked pretty regularly.

I started off as a guide dog user with blindness being my only disability. For the first 4-5 years of my guide dog-using career, I only worked one dog at a time. I had a mild-moderate hearing loss and my guide dogs performed some very light sound alert work, but that was it. Around 2003, my hearing started to worsen, and after 2006 all bets were off. Not only am I Deafblind, but the inner ear disease which causes the deafness also causes some very severe balance and mobility issues. I also deal with chronic vertigo. This means that sometimes I literally cannot tell where the floor or the ceiling are. The vertigo effects my proprioception which is the body's ability to know where its parts are in relation to each other. Lets take feeding yourself as an example. People don't need to look in a mirror when they feed themselves because their body "knows" where their mouth is. Your hand has the fork, it lifts the food from the plate, and into the mouth. You don't need to look to know where your mouth is. My proprioceptive abilities vary from day to day. I've been in and out of intense physical therapy to try and improve these issues, but even at their best, they still have impact on my life.

All of that long and probably boring explanation serves as background to my need for two dogs. My dogs are now not only responsible for guiding me from point A to point B, but they need to serve as an aid to balance and mobility as well. Sometimes I cannot articulate direction at all. I try and avoid working my dog when I'm like this but the nature of my disease is that it fluctuates. I can be feeling just great, and the next moment be unable to stand independently. I usually have very little warning. When this happens, I need my dog to make decisions about where to go, to find me a place to sit so I can take meds, and to ignore me because when I try to give cues usually I'm pointing in the completely wrong direction from where I want to go. This doesn't even begin to cover the work my dogs do in the home. This includes alerting to sounds, retrieving dropped objects, bring objects from me to someone/somewhere else, loading and unloading bags/baskets/the dryer, and providing balance assistance or rescue work. There have been times when I've gone out into my own back yard to hang laundry and have then experienced a vertigo attack which leaves me unable to find my way back in the house. It is then necessary for one of my dogs to come find me, and lead me back inside. That is a lot of work for just one dog.

I live a very active life. I have work, community activities, my own home business to help run, and the regular life errands we all must do. This does not even take into account a social life. I like to stay as active as I can. Dogs who work for a person with multiple disabilities tend to burn out more quickly than a dog who has a less stressful job. If I had just one dog, she would be "on call" from the moment I got up in the morning, all day long, until I went to bed. Any time there was a sound, or if I dropped something, or needed assistance, she would have to come running. It wouldn't matter if she had just spent twelve hours out of the home with me, guiding and helping me stand upright. I don't think that's altogether fair to the dog. If I were more sedentary, it might be different, but I'm not.

I have an "inside dog" and an "outside dog." They each know the other's skill set to some degree. Although Laveau has a great deal of catching up to get to Mill'E-Max's level of "inside work." But in all fairness, Mill'E-Max has had more years to perfect it. Laveau does the guiding, balance/mobility and hearing work when outside. She accompanies me to work, and to other places in the community. She loves her job and is very good at it. But when we are done for the day, and the harness comes off, She is off for the night. She can play with the tennis ball, or with the other dogs, and just be "a regular dog." Mill'E-Max takes over inside. She goes into the kitchen with me when I cook, helps retrieve things or bring things to the table. She goes into the herb room with me when I'm making products and does the same. She does play with the other dogs and has fun, but the difference is that if I need her, she stops and comes to help me with whatever I need and then goes back to doing whatever she was doing. She loves her job. When I come in the door with Laveau, she is there to greet us, ready for her turn to work.

Occasionally I will take Mill'E-Max out and let her guide. This is because Laveau has some separation anxiety issues, and we are slowly teaching her that it is ok to be left home alone. I want to continue to work on her "being left alone" skills, so once a week or so, I take a trip with Mill'E-Max and leave Laveau at home. It is important to do because eventually (like in eighty years) Laveau will have to retire, and will need to be comfortable with being left alone at home.

As for "the bond" I don't feel any less bonded to Mill'E-Max who has always worked in tandem with another dog, than I did to Rhoda, my first dog who was my only dog for the entire time I had her. The bonds are different because I am a different person now, as compared to when I had Rhoda. Also, Rhoda was my first dog, and the relationship with your first dog is usually different because they were "the first" and you did a bunch of "firsts" together. I don't think the human heart has a finite capacity for bonding. Just because you work two dogs at once doesn't mean that your love for them is less because you are "splitting" the bond. We can love, and be bonded to, many different beings, for many different reasons, and in many different ways. Bristol and Gracy worked together in the way Mill'E-Max and Laveau work together now, and I never felt it harmed them in any way. In fact, I felt like it benefited them because it allowed them to share the responsibilities of helping me, and it gave them another dog friend.

Laveau, Mill'E-Max and I have a three-way bond. I love each of them and have a relationship with each of them, but they also love each other and have their own very special relationship.

It may not be "the norm" but it works for us, and as long as everyone is happy at the end of the day, that's what counts!

Why do you do it?

Mister Pawpower's search for an assistance dog candidate has caused some interesting reactions and these reactions have made me think-- about myself, my reasons for owner training and how it is viewed by the larger assistance dog community. Until around five or ten years ago, it was not common at all for blind people to train their own guide dogs. It was done, just not by very many at all. Owner training was an option used more by persons with other disabilities. People who are deaf or hard of hearing, or people with mobility or medical issues were more likely to train their own assistance dogs. This is because programs which serve these populations tended to have a longer wait list, to have more stringent requirements for acceptance, and to require the payment of large sums of money for their services. A blind person could get a guide dog from a program in under a year after the first application, and more times than not, the dog was given with no fee owed. Guide dog programs didn't have rules about having other pet animals in the home, or other rules about keeping one's retired assistance animal.

However, due to several factors, more and more blind people have made the decision to owner train. I don't think most people understand that this decision isn't made lightly. Owner training is costly, both in financial and time resources. It takes a very specific skill set. The dog has to go through the process of training and the handler has to put in a great deal of focused, intensive labor. The dog could then wash out and the handler is back at the beginning.

Most people put serious thought and consideration into their decision, but many people seem to be asking my husband why? Why would he want to owner train? Why doesn't he go to a program?

I can't speak about Mister Pawpower's feeling and own personal choices. I am not him, and his tale is not mine to tell-- his reasons not mine to explore. However, I can give some general reasons why someone would want to owner train.

Many people owner train because they cannot attend a program. Perhaps their disabilities make attending a program, or working with a trainer from the program in their own home unmanageable. The person may have Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (MCS), they may have such a unique combination of disabilities and considerations that no program feels equipped to train an assistance animal to meet their needs. They may have work, family, or medical commitments which prevent their going away to a program for the specified period of time (usually a month).

Many programs have very specific rules. These programs put these rules in place because they feel it is in the best interest of the populations they serve, and the dogs they train. However, many people don't want to follow these rules. It is highly preferable to find another alternative than to submit yourself to a program whose rules you cannot or will not follow. Many programs reserve the right to repossess the dog if these rules are violated, and the horror and grief over losing your partner due to such a dispute would be much more painful than the impatience of a longer wait for an assistance dog either owner trained or from another program. An example of one of these rules is that some programs state that you may not have other pet, or retired assistance dogs in the home with your working dog. They have their reasons for feeling like this is an important rule, but many people have beloved pets and have managed to go on to have a happy working assistance dog partner and a pet or retired dog living together.
Many programs will not transfer ownership of the dog upon completion of the program. For me, personally, this is a huge sticking point. My choice of programs to attend-- already limited by being Deafblind and using American Sign Language as a primary means of communication, is even more limited because I will not submit myself to a program which will not grant me full and total ownership of my dog upon completion of the training period. People can argue with me until they are blue in the face about this issue, but my mind is very thoroughly made up. We all have "that one thing" which we will never compromise on, and for me it is ownership.

Some people do not want to attend a program because they have firm beliefs in certain training, and rearing methods. Out of necessity, programs have a pretty cookie-cutter approach to dog training and care. They do try to meet every dog's needs, but most dogs will have their needs met-- both behaviorally and physically-- by the training/rearing method of choice. Again I can speak from personal experience. As a clicker trainer and a big proponent of Natural Rearing; it is extremely important to me that my dogs be fed a raw diet as soon as possible, and that they be minimally vaccinated, and treated using a blend of standard medicine and herbs. It is also extremely important that my dog be operant. This means that the dog has realized that she can operate on her environment and that the clicker or other marker has been established as a tool for communication. Many programs use it as a behavior marker, but clicker training is so much more than the clicker. It is a way of thinking-- for the person, and their dog.

Finally there are people who honestly enjoy the process of owner training. I'll grant you, we are few and far between. There are many good reasons for this-- see the part about intensive work above. But we do exist, and for us, it is a true passion and enjoyable experience to train dogs to this level.

The words "harder" and "easier" are very subjective. When people ask Mister Pawpower, "wouldn't it just be easier to go to a program?" They are speaking from their subjective view of what is "easy." For many, it is "easier" to train a dog themselves then to risk exacerbating medical issues, leaving home for a month, obeying rules which chafe, or which go against your grain. For the majority of the folks out there, this is not true. But there are always exceptions.